There are two AVR ICs present on the Arduino board, one is used for the USB to ICSP interface and the other one is the uC which you're using.
As I've noticed that you've tried to connect Tx and Rx pins including reset for programming the IC. Those pins are used for communication on serial protocol, where as the AVR in Arduino is programmed using SPI Protocol, so you should be using MISO, MOSI, SCK, SS (they're pins 13-10 respectively) and Reset pin on the Arduino, then the AVR which is used as USB-SPI bridge for programming can communicate with the uC and program it.
