JavaScript (ES6), 252 227 227226 bytes
n=>[...n.toString(2,b="If I pull that off will you die? You're a big guy.".split` `,c="It would be extremely painful... for you!".split` `)].map((a,i,j)=>(a!=j[i-1]?(+a?i?`
CIA: `:``)+(+a?`CIA: `:`BANE`
BANE: `):``)+(+a?b:c).shift()).join` `
Usage
f=n=>[...n.toString(2,b="If I pull that off will you die? You're a big guy.".split` `,c="It would be extremely painful... for you!".split` `)].map((a,i,j)=>(a!=j[i-1]?(+a?i?`
CIA: `:``)+(+a?`CIA: `:`BANE`
BANE: `):``)+(+a?b:c).shift()).join` `
f(522300)
Notes
This is golfing-in-progress, I think I can still shave off some bytes, but feel free to leave suggestions in the comments.