I think false choice may be used in OP's context. Here's the description of a book titled "Women and False Choice: The Truth about Sexism: How to Fight Sexism in the Workplace"

As women make life-career choices, they are constrained by cultural ideas, images and symbols that create the 'nurturance imperative' in their psyche. Women mistake this learnt nurturing behaviour, of putting others' interests before theirs, for natural instinct and make choices that are not in line with their authentic self. Women, in other words, unknowingly make false choices.

(Boldface mine.)

I think false choice can be used in OP's context. Here's the description of a book titled "Women and False Choice: The Truth about Sexism: How to Fight Sexism in the Workplace"

As women make life-career choices, they are constrained by cultural ideas, images and symbols that create the 'nurturance imperative' in their psyche. Women mistake this learnt nurturing behaviour, of putting others' interests before theirs, for natural instinct and make choices that are not in line with their authentic self. Women, in other words, unknowingly make false choices.

(Boldface mine.)