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Interpersonal Skills Beta

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Tom
Tom
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Jane has serious issues that are not yours to solve. They are also not yours to endure, and you have no obligation to do so. When she starts one of her rants, stop her with a clear announcement that you have no intention to listen to it, or contribute to it. This can be friendly (e.g. "Jane, we've had this talk before, let's not do it again."), stern (e.g. "Jane, I'm not interested to discuss this." plus switch to other topic immediately) or if she still doesn't get it, in-your-face-clear (e.g. "Jane, I won't listen or discuss to this topic, we've been over it, come finefind me when you're finished and we can discuss other things.")

Be prepared that she has some prepared or instantly-cooked-up nonsense up her sleeves about how your answer was patriarchal oppression through male-dominated verbal expression or whatever. Ignore it, and stand your ground.

Also be prepared for the usual "why?" interrogation that people often use in this situation. By asking "why" they eventually drag you back into the exact same discussion that you clearly announced you wanted to avoid. Prepare a simple, complete answer and stick to it. Maybe "we've had this discussion before and it leads nowhere".

Jane has serious issues that are not yours to solve. They are also not yours to endure, and you have no obligation to do so. When she starts one of her rants, stop her with a clear announcement that you have no intention to listen to it, or contribute to it. This can be friendly (e.g. "Jane, we've had this talk before, let's not do it again."), stern (e.g. "Jane, I'm not interested to discuss this." plus switch to other topic immediately) or if she still doesn't get it, in-your-face-clear (e.g. "Jane, I won't listen or discuss to this topic, we've been over it, come fine me when you're finished and we can discuss other things.")

Be prepared that she has some prepared or instantly-cooked-up nonsense up her sleeves about how your answer was patriarchal oppression through male-dominated verbal expression or whatever. Ignore it, and stand your ground.

Also be prepared for the usual "why?" interrogation that people often use in this situation. By asking "why" they eventually drag you back into the exact same discussion that you clearly announced you wanted to avoid. Prepare a simple, complete answer and stick to it. Maybe "we've had this discussion before and it leads nowhere".

Jane has serious issues that are not yours to solve. They are also not yours to endure, and you have no obligation to do so. When she starts one of her rants, stop her with a clear announcement that you have no intention to listen to it, or contribute to it. This can be friendly (e.g. "Jane, we've had this talk before, let's not do it again."), stern (e.g. "Jane, I'm not interested to discuss this." plus switch to other topic immediately) or if she still doesn't get it, in-your-face-clear (e.g. "Jane, I won't listen or discuss to this topic, we've been over it, come find me when you're finished and we can discuss other things.")

Be prepared that she has some prepared or instantly-cooked-up nonsense up her sleeves about how your answer was patriarchal oppression through male-dominated verbal expression or whatever. Ignore it, and stand your ground.

Also be prepared for the usual "why?" interrogation that people often use in this situation. By asking "why" they eventually drag you back into the exact same discussion that you clearly announced you wanted to avoid. Prepare a simple, complete answer and stick to it. Maybe "we've had this discussion before and it leads nowhere".

Source Link
Tom
Tom
  • 7.3k
  • 24
  • 34

Jane has serious issues that are not yours to solve. They are also not yours to endure, and you have no obligation to do so. When she starts one of her rants, stop her with a clear announcement that you have no intention to listen to it, or contribute to it. This can be friendly (e.g. "Jane, we've had this talk before, let's not do it again."), stern (e.g. "Jane, I'm not interested to discuss this." plus switch to other topic immediately) or if she still doesn't get it, in-your-face-clear (e.g. "Jane, I won't listen or discuss to this topic, we've been over it, come fine me when you're finished and we can discuss other things.")

Be prepared that she has some prepared or instantly-cooked-up nonsense up her sleeves about how your answer was patriarchal oppression through male-dominated verbal expression or whatever. Ignore it, and stand your ground.

Also be prepared for the usual "why?" interrogation that people often use in this situation. By asking "why" they eventually drag you back into the exact same discussion that you clearly announced you wanted to avoid. Prepare a simple, complete answer and stick to it. Maybe "we've had this discussion before and it leads nowhere".