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Expert Explains Why You Keep Wanting to Go Back to Your Ex
I hated that I begged someone who cheated on me to stay in my life.
Many years ago, I begged my ex to get back together.
Told him I couldn’t live without him and how all I could ever think of was settling down with him.
Looking back, I regret every moment of it. I hated that I begged someone who cheated on me to stay in my life. I’m not even mad if you call me stupid.
Because I was.
But then I realized getting over an ex isn’t as easy as those relationships books tell you.
Since every relationship has a different dynamic, it’s hard to pinpoint why some people can’t just move on from their exes.
So instead of simply asking you to move on from your ex, I thought it’s better to understand why you keep wanting to go back in the first place.
Why do you keep going back to someone who’s bad for you
A sex therapist & relationship expert, Aliyah Moore explains why there might be psychological reasons why you can’t just let go of your ex.
One of them is the feeling of familiarity and hope for change.
“Knowing their quirks, likes, and dislikes can make it feel safe and predictable, keeping us drawn back in.”
She also added,
“Sometimes we hold onto the hope that our ex will magically change, even if evidence suggests otherwise. It’s like believing they’ll stop their cheating ways this time, but it’s just wishful thinking.”
I mean, anyone who’s going through this situation can surely relate. When you know someone long enough, it’s easy to think that your life isn’t complete if they’re gone.
So when a breakup happens, it feels like you’re missing a piece of yourself. Some people accept that new reality and keep going, but the rest are stuck with old memories.
You might think, “I know he isn’t always like this. He used to be so good to me. I’m sure he can change again.”
So instead of trying to close the chapter, you cling to an empty hope.
