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  • Is there a reason to think that gendered statement will be an issue? The CoC says use "Use stated pronouns” (which only applies to pronouns) and "Prefer gender-neutral language”, which is a request, not a demand. The FAQ even says that defaulting to gender-neutral “he” is fine, as long as you change if requested. Commented Oct 23, 2019 at 13:53
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    The expectation on how to answer a question and what is/isn't in scope on our sites is not changing, you have always had to state how things are viewed on a field backed up by references, not your personal thoughts on main Q&A. As using genderized words, @divibisan said it, you can continue to do so, albeit not recommended. Adjust if someone states differently for you. Commented Oct 23, 2019 at 14:00
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    @CesarM can we make it more clear on the CoC that it mostly is applying to SO? I was under the impression that it was for all networks (including meta) so a directly line there would help clarify things Commented Oct 23, 2019 at 14:10
  • It is applying to all of them @SterlingArcher. Essentially, the intentional differential treatment of someone after they have pointed out an easily correctable mistake is what the CoC outlines as wrong (in my interpretation). Your display name is a character name from a popular TV show, and as such I wouldn't want to make any assumptions about you if I were referring to you in the third person. If I did end up making an assumption (and you corrected me on it), I would change how I referred to you for the sole reason that I made the wrong assumption. Why shouldn't that apply to all SE sites? Commented Oct 23, 2019 at 14:32
  • @SterlingArcher There seems to be one free pass per user per question without being flagged, so I would simply change the way you type for that one rare instance in which a user does actually correct you. It probably won't happen often, as people usually endeavour to keep comments on-topic and concise; users should never correct you without including information that's also relevant to the question/answer/comments, so it will just make their comments longer. Commented Oct 23, 2019 at 17:48
  • I just want to make it clear I have no issue using clear pronouns. I already use OP more dominantly so nbd there. I just want to make sure that I’m safe because I have different opinions on social situations, and that it’s not interpreted as hate or bigotry :) Commented Oct 23, 2019 at 19:20
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    It's not compelled speech to be told that you can't say something. You can call it a restriction on free speech, but free speech is inherently restricted in any forum that has rules. "Be Nice" is already a restriction on free speech. The rules on what is on topic for a particular SE is already a restriction on free speech. Not having long running chats in the comments is a restriction on free speech, even. The idea that it is better to remain silent than to break the rules is always the case, as well. It's better to remain silent than to be rude, ask the wrong question, etc. Commented Oct 25, 2019 at 8:22
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    That said, it seems unlikely to me that anyone could misunderstand "Oh, man" to be talking about a male human. It is merely a minced oath, where "God" was replaced with "man." However, calling someone "man," "dude," etc can easily be seen as assuming they are male, and there are non-gendered equivalents which would be better. "Bud," "mate," "chum," "my friend," etc. are all clearly gender neutral, and convey a similar tone to "dude" or "man." Commented Oct 25, 2019 at 8:31
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    Finally, to address a specific line in your post: "My opposing point of view cannot be silenced on the grounds of it being distressing if it's not threatening, promoting hate or violence etc." This isn't correct, and would make any politeness or civility policies possible. Being polite, nice, civil, etc inherently requires one to avoid unnecessarily causing distress to others. This isn't just on websites: you job probably has such rules. Your friends probably have such as a rule unofficially--as someone who deliberately distresses people is labeled an "asshole" and loses friends. Commented Oct 25, 2019 at 8:40
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    @trlkly: This is a rather weak understanding of social interaction. In all functional societies, an expectation of politeness is universally predicated on the recipient moderating their own behavior and conducting themselves in a socially acceptable and agreeable manner. Failure to do so demonstrates a disregard for the integrity of the group and naturally invites social censure. This is precisely why such enforcement attempts always fail, because demanding that the rest of the group accepts your personal values under threat of sanction is, ipso facto, anti-social behavior. Commented Oct 25, 2019 at 16:52
  • Re "non-aggressive disagreements" (near "So if you have religious, or non-aggressive disagreements then SO is not for you."): Don't you mean "aggressive disagreements" (the opposite of "non-aggressive disagreements") (or the quote is wrong)? It would not make sense that the site is for them if they have the opposite, aggressive disagreements. Commented Oct 28, 2019 at 11:21
  • @CesarM, please remove your text from the answer. It’s your comment, and it is not endorsed by the author of the answer. Commented Nov 10, 2019 at 9:55
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    Using wrong pronouns is not a "view". Imagine someone inventing a nickname for you that you don't like. You tell that person that. Yet that person refuses and calls you by it and refuses to stop. That's what it is. Deliberately misgendering is deliberately causing discomfort to other people. And imagine having this nickname being used previously by your bullies and triggering trauma response. That's how some trans people feel. That's not only causing discomfort but actually causes harm and may lead to depression and even suicide. Deliberate misgendering is thus dangerous. Commented Nov 18, 2019 at 16:43