Dom Joly: An evil cradling in deepest Cornwall

Published: 15 January 2006

I've often banged on about some of the weird things that happen down here in deepest, darkest Gloucestershire. However, since my recent visit to Padstow I feel that, in comparison, I live in the very epicentre of normality. The idea was for Stacey and I and our friends Adi and Jake to get away from everything and have a luxurious weekend stuffing ourselves silly on seafood. For those of you who don't know (it means you don't watch TV) Padstow is the Cornish fishing village that has now been turned into a Rick Stein theme park. There is a Stein restaurant, fish and chip shop, deli, bistro, hotel, cooking school; they might as well rename the place Steinstow. When the trip was first mooted I was a little loath to return as I had been down there once before for a disastrous weekend with an old girlfriend. This was way back, fairly early on in Rick's TV career when, having watched some of his programmes, we thought that we might go down and eat the cast.

Unfortunately, so had about a hundred other London couples. The place was like some sort of non-stop Valentine's Day, everywhere jam-packed with couples staring at each other awkwardly over vats of oysters as Rick and his accountant rubbed their hands with glee. The girlfriend and I spent the entire time arguing and ended up trying to drown each other on the town beach as the tide roared in.

Article Length: 542 words (approx.)