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John Walsh

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 27 March 2007

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John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 20 March 2007

'The concept of the UnderCity won't catch on in Britain. We get scared in the basement of Harvey Nicks'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 13 March 2007

'No appearance by the Colette of Camden Town is complete without a familiar figure a-lurking'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 06 March 2007

'The simple affection of Profumo and Mosley for their miscreant dads would melt the sternest heart'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 27 February 2007

'A crime, right here, under my nose! I sprang to the telephone and called the police at once'

John Walsh: Tales of the Carnival

Published: 20 February 2007

'Rio's Sambadrome is the most flamboyantly tacky, over-the-top parade you've ever seen'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 13 February 2007

'When it comes to being revealed as a former criminal or a former prat, we'd happily choose the criminal'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 06 February 2007

'Let us see off the developers with a barrage of sourdough loaves and handmade truffles!'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 30 January 2007

'Frankly, I feel more surveyed, spied on and flash-filmed than Shilpa Shetty, and I'm sick of it'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 23 January 2007

'Eh, Ambassador, wi' these pork pies and pints of Bass, you're bloody spoiling us, y'are'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 16 January 2007

'The behavioural fascists tell us we must get organised. Nonsense. Mess is good!'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 09 January 2007

'Depending on how you're feeling that evening, Romeo and Juliet needn't die in the tomb after all'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 02 January 2007

'The day is near when random words will start appearing in my conversation, as though I'm reciting concrete poetry'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 26 December 2006

'Hollywood has become fixated on movies about authors, however unpromising the subject matter'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 19 December 2006

'I've been approached by the US film industry and asked to write for them. Hurrah! Fame, riches and women await'

John Walsh: Blog. Is there an uglier word in the entire history of our language?

Published: 17 December 2006

Comfort zones, default positions, identity theft. I ask you!

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 12 December 2006

'I have an unshakeable image of the bishop in full regalia, weaving from Hyde Park to Southwark'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 05 December 2006

'The biggest threat to life in Egypt isn't bombs, pirates or bird flu - it's Cairo's drivers. Absolutely crazy'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 28 November 2006

Stick a toe into the huge, still pond of history, and you'll be amazed how fast it churns up into a tsunami.

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 21 November 2006

'Now pay attention, 007. This may look like a plate of sushi, but when Stelth is involved...'

John Walsh: He may look like a sad Samurai, but we're falling for David Gest

Published: 19 November 2006

To a pair of baby alligators he said, "Weren't you at my wedding?" - Recollections of marriage to Liza were sweet or hilariously rude

John Walsh: Tales Of The City

Published: 14 November 2006

'During the encore, my plastic tooth flew out across Wembley Arena. Oh, the wages of vanity '

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 07 November 2006

'Like David Attenborough clucking over a stricken yak, one wonders what will come of tragic Battersea Power Station'

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 31 October 2006

'The whiff of Sixties hippiedom and Nelson Mandela saintliness are, I'm sure, unconscious'

John Walsh: btw

Published: 28 October 2006

Should we keep a wary eye on Chris de Burgh, the Irish crooner responsible for "Lady in Red"? Two weeks ago, he revealed on BBC1 that he has the power to heal people. "I met someone in the West Indies who wasn't able to walk. I put my hands on him and he was able to get up," he told Gloria Hunniford, adding that he was hoping to "play down" his gift (perhaps not appearing on TV might help). Next we learnt that he cured a writer's paralysed left arm by placing his hands on it. Now he's informed the Birmingham Post that his next big market will be Iran, where (he was informed by fans) "the two biggest stars are Madonna and Chris de Burgh". He says he feels the same missionary zeal about playing there as he did in South Africa in the 1970s. Uh-oh. So far, he's made the lame walk, he's cured the sick and given disenfranchised blacks the vote, and now he'll bring peace to the Middle East. How soon will he change his name to Messiah and adopt an African baby?

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