The Wayback Machine - https://web.archive.org/web/20070521025734/http://comment.independent.co.uk:80/columnists_m_z/

Columnists M - Z

Andreas Whittam Smith: The MP, his quad bike and a phoney scare story

Published: 21 May 2007

David Maclean has just bought himself a £3,300 quad bike on parliamentary expenses

John Rentoul: Whether he meant it or not, Cameron has just found his Clause IV moment

Published: 20 May 2007

Tory passions are in inverse proportion to the grasp of reality

Alan Watkins: So, who will claim Mr Prescott's job? I see no neat ending to this long Labour

Published: 20 May 2007

I never cease to wonder at the supreme egotism of the politician

Rowan Pelling: Flattery will get you everywhere

Published: 20 May 2007

The art of paying a compliment is dying out, so this is the perfect time for charmers to cash in

Editor-At-Large: Madonna, Bob, my Aga's off - so now who's greenest of us all?

Published: 20 May 2007

You want to be green. I want to be green. Politicians need to claim to be green if they want our votes. Green is the new religion, saving the planet resonates with us more than any creed, if you count up the amount of airtime and column inches devoted to the subject every day. Recycling is our Lord's Prayer, renewables our daily mantra. Manuals like The New Green Consumer Guide by Julia Hailes are our Book of Common Prayer.

Joan Smith: So, farewell then Paul Wolfowitz, at least this time no one's died

Published: 20 May 2007

He leaves the Bank in less chaos than his last project, Iraq

John Walsh: btw

Published: 19 May 2007

* Most-scrutinised footage of the week is that of John Sweeney losing his rag with Tommy Davis, spokesman for the Church of Scientology, and ranting " You! Were! Not! There!" at him in eye-bulging fury.

Deborah Orr: There's someone who can benefit from Prince Harry's troubles - his brother

Published: 19 May 2007

With a little tiny bit of ingenuity, the Army could have made fantastically good use of Harry in Iraq. Employing the tethered goat technique, so graphically enacted in Jurassic Park, the young man could have been placed enticingly at the centre of the action, allowing all those publicity-coup-seeking insurgents to be picked off like so many fish in a barrel. In fact, the many months of fanfare surrounding his deployment rather indicated that this was the plan, and that it was coming along marvellously well, thank you very much indeed.

Will Self: PsychoGeography

Published: 19 May 2007

Return to Lilliput

John Rentoul: Brown won because there was no one else. And that is a big problem

Published: 18 May 2007

His first problem is where on earth he will find enough able ministers to fill his Cabinet

Donald Macintyre: How 'national unity' has been soured by suspicions about outside interference

Published: 18 May 2007

As the factional fighting subsides, the Israeli strikes on Gaza, in response to the barrage of rocket attacks on the border town of Sderot, begin.

Thomas Sutcliffe: What's wrong with a little fun?

Published: 18 May 2007

Earlier this week the New Scientist reported that a neurobiologist in Berlin had established that fruit flies display a rudimentary form of free will. He'd achieved this, apparently, by glueing the flies to a torque meter and putting them inside a sensory deprivation chamber - a drum with a completely white interior that offered no clues as to physical orientation and no misleading stimuli. I didn't entirely understand the explanation of the results, which hinged on the fact that the flies' subsequent behaviour was chaotic rather than random - but I was in any case less interested in the fruit flies' embryonic consciousness than the fact that I'd just been subjected to a very similar experiment. You can have a go, if you're curious, by going to Antony Gormley's new exhibition at the Hayward Gallery and wandering around inside his installation Blind Light.

Steve Richards: This is a shaky foundation upon which to build our country's education policy

Published: 17 May 2007

There is a problem with Lord Adonis's crusade: the success of the project depends on him

Janet Street-Porter: Horsemeat is safe, healthy - and tasty

Published: 17 May 2007

I've long thought that most animal rights protesters are probably less equipped in the intelligence department than the creatures they so vociferously seek to protect, and events of the past few days have certainly proved me correct.

Deborah Orr: Such a splendid idea, but such a tricky beast to unleash in practice

Published: 16 May 2007

Suddenly, as Brown's bid for PM blossoms, 'community empowerment' is part of the mix

Hamish McRae: Sarkozy could teach Brown a lesson

Published: 16 May 2007

I fear that he will simply press on, 'refreshing' existing policies rather than thinking laterally

Mark Steel: Don't mention the war (or anything else)

Published: 16 May 2007

Even the election for deputy leader is pointless, as all the candidates agree about everything

Christina Patterson: No potency quite like an affair of the mind

Published: 16 May 2007

So, the pop star most famous for her bottom is having what D H Lawrence called "sex in the head". Actually, Lawrence's version left room for ambiguity and we wouldn't want to tempt the lawyers with that. No, what Kylie Minogue has confessed to is something infinitely more potent. When asked about her new friendship with married Chilean film director Alexander Dahm, she replied, like someone freshly struck by the infinite richness of the English language, "Well what do you mean by an affair? Sometimes," she added, to nods and winks across the nation, "you can have a mental affair".

Thomas Sutcliffe: A matter of life, death and white male critics

Published: 15 May 2007

If I were a female theatre critic, I think I might be a tiny bit cross with Nicholas Hytner after his widely reported criticisms of "dead white males" in the critical establishment. On the face of it, of course, he was speaking on their behalf, welcoming the greater presence of female voices in the Sunday papers and implicitly suggesting that they are more open to the work of female directors. But, like all generalisations, this one looked to me as if it had a sting in the tail.

Steve Richards: He is relaxed. He can answer questions. And he even has some radical policies...

Published: 15 May 2007

None of this should be a surprise, but the Brown caricature overwhelmed the reality

John Walsh: Tales of the City

Published: 15 May 2007

'Your mission: find the bad guy, find work/life balance, save the world, and keep the kids happy'

Andreas Whittam Smith: Who guards Britain's auditing guardian?

Published: 14 May 2007

If Sir John Bourn wishes to travel a lot, he should retire and do it in his own time

John Rentoul: Blair the betrayed: Labour will be oh-so-sorry when he's gone

Published: 13 May 2007

When the Prime Minister finally steps off the stage, Gordon Brown and David Cameron will find that he leaves behind a template against which they will both be found wanting. We are now in the age of the second-raters

Joan Smith: I'm sorry, but Shambo gets my bullet

Published: 13 May 2007

Religious beliefs about animals are as likely to involve cruelty as kindness

Editor-At-Large: Give up work? No, now we want to be gainfully zenployed for life

Published: 13 May 2007

It's not just Mr Blair who fancies a change of job in his early fifties - a survey has shown that two out of three of us have had enough of our careers by the time we reach 45. Most people loathe work so much and find it so unfulfilling that they harbour a secret longing to switch to something more meaningful before it's too late. Researchers talked to 1,200 people - a decent-sized sample - and were amazed to find that the old idea of retiring and doing less had been replaced by a deep-seated yearning to achieve more. Some started planning a new career when they were still in their thirties, one which would not necessarily pay as much, but would give them the spiritual rewards they lacked. The experts are calling this trend Zenployment - and it reflects an increasing desire to contribute something to society - with one in four workers asking their bosses to let them do charity work or voluntary unpaid work.

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