Meeting people: friends in high places
University is the ideal time to come out of your shell and meet new people. By Sophie Morris
Published: 15 August 2007
University is your chance to take a good bite out of a lot of different experiences far from the library and the lecture hall.
For all freshers the transition from regimented A-level studies to a freer life of lectures and tutorials is accompanied by an immense blank canvas of spare time. Unless you are studying medicine or a science subject, you could find yourself with anything from four to 15 hours of scheduled lectures and classes each week. How you fill up the rest is down to you.
The word "socialising" fills some people with excitement and many others with dread. If you're one of the latter, remember that no one is born with outstanding social skills. They are tools that you learn and that will ease your passage through life. University is the place to do it. Don't worry if you make mistakes in your efforts to make friends: in your three or four years as an undergraduate you have the time to experiment, to try out different friendships and find out what suits you.
All this, of course, is a long way off yet. Start small, by tackling freshers' week with an open mind and a lot of energy.
Before you arrive at university you should have been sent heaps of information. Dig out the pack from your students' union detailing everything that will be organised for your arrival at university. It is likely that you will have a week before term officially starts for settling in as a fresher, meeting all the other first years and becoming acquainted with the town and campus.
It is important to get to know everyone who is sharing your corridor or flat early on: even if you don't end up becoming their best friend (or wish you'd never met them at all), you will still be sharing a bathroom and kitchen with them for three terms.
When my own parents drove me to Cambridge University from Manchester many moons ago, I was worried about having chosen a sleepy fen town full of insular academics. There was a knock at the door and a group of 10 freshers introduced themselves as "The Mathmos". "We've been here a week already studying further maths," they said, confirming my image of Cambridge as a haven for steaming scientific grey matter. I was convinced, with my humanities background, that I would never fit in.
After ushering my parents out, however, I changed my mind because I spotted Guy and Jon, who, like me, dabbled in lightweight artsy subjects, and have been two of my closest friends ever since.
So the moral is: if you don't like what you first find, look further afield. If your next-door neighbours have all opted to cook their own meals and you want to eat in the cafeteria and meet some more people, go on your own. You will probably find that group of people deep in conversation probably only met five minutes earlier. If everyone you know wants to go to a cheesy pop night at the student union and you're desperate for some banging drum 'n' bass, take a deep breath and head on out alone. Next time you'll have some likeminded friends to go with.
Make sure in those first few days to visit the Freshers' Fair. Out of the hundreds of stalls offering wild, wonderful, and downright bizarre clubs and societies to join, something will spark your interest. Sport is a great thing to get involved in at university to get you out of the dingy library. People who never got picked for teams at school will find they love yoga, kung fu, or climbing. If you are political or care about the environment, there will be a society where you can meet people who share more than simply your love of 24 and the Arctic Monkeys.
Take advantage of your NUS card and any other student discounts on offer. Socialising on a budget can be frustrating and require creativity, but your NUS card should get you discounts on drinks and events at the student union as well as cheaper entry into clubs, sports centres and the cinema in your town or city.
If you have chosen to live at home or off campus, away from most freshers, this doesn't mean you will miss out on a social life. But once again, you have to put the effort in. Stick around after lectures for a coffee or a pint; ask someone to call you if something comes up that you might want to be a part of; sleep over on a friend's floor to avoid taking a night bus home alone if you want to stay out late.
During their first few weeks at university most people will have some anxious or homesick feelings, or be worried they have chosen the wrong university, place or city. Call home or one of your school friends. The sooner you talk about it, the sooner you will realise it takes a little time to adjust to so many changes at once.
Finally, if you've chalked a hectic social life into every spare window in your diary, don't forget to leave some time for yourself. Everyone needs time to relax, reflect, do their washing and, of course, sleep.
'I'm excited about meeting new people'Katie Heath, 19, has just returned from a gap year in India and is preparing to study photographic art at Westminster University.
"I come from Lincoln and if I hadn't had a gap year I would have felt a lot more nervous about moving to a big city like London. None of my friends are going to Westminster, but a lot are heading for London and I have visited my brother there a few times before.
"I'm excited and it's nice to know I'll be meeting new people who I have a lot in common with on my course. I've never joined a club before but I'm interested in film making, and I like going out.
I didn't feel ready in any way to go and face university straight after school last year, but I met all sorts of people and came across all sorts of situations in my gap year, so I think that has prepared me for university."
