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From what I understand, Minute Maid Park was a bit of an uncomfortable place to be this weekend, and not just because the Yankees were beating up on the Astros. It appears that though Drayton hiked the prices for the games, he didn’t turn on the A/C. And from what I’ve read, this isn’t the first time this season that this has happened.

Richard Justice first mentioned the uncomfortable conditions last month, but I passed it off as being one of those early season things and the Astros MMP crew not having their roof and air-conditioning rhythms down yet. But anybody who read the comments to Brian McTaggart’s Sunday blog post is fully aware of what those who were in attendance this weekend discovered: MMP was a miserably hot place to be.

I give Richard Justice lots of grief. But the guy is connected with the Astros, and when he starts writing about problems in the Astros clubhouse, well, let’s just say that I’m going to listen. I’m not sure how widespread the problem is, probably because Justice doesn’t elaborate too much, but it’s very clear who two of the participants are, Cecil Cooper and Roy Oswalt.

Justice originally wrote of some problems between the two last month, when Oswalt went out to pitch an inning injured, then had to leave the game. Oswalt claimed he told Cooper that he was injured, but that Cooper told him to pitch anyway. Cooper claimed that Oswalt said he could go another inning.

It is being reported that MLB is considering going to an instant replay for certain calls by August 1 of this baseball season. And while it’s probably a good idea for baseball to adopt replay for home run and fair/foul calls, I’ve got a problem.

What’s the rush?

Botched home run calls have been around since the beginning of baseball. And with the advent of stupid-ass ballparks like Minute Maid Park, it’s become easier for umpires to get a home run call wrong. But since this new replay uproar started in May – because of blown calls involving the Mets and Yankees – baseball has gone from thinking about replay, to considering a trial system for use in this fall’s Arizona Fall League, to putting it into use come August 1, 2008.

The New York Daily News posted a story this weekend on the imminent indictment of Roger Clemens for lying to Congress. I’ve been largely complimentary of the Daily News in the Clemens matter – in fact, I believe most of the stuff that we’ve learned this year about the Rocket and steroids have come from the Daily News. But that said, I’ve got some problems with this story.

There are no sources from inside the Justice Department or Team Rocket or Team McNamee stating the indictment is just around the corner. There is no evidence of any kind in support of the claim.

I don’t think the Daily News is wrong. I just think that it’s jumping the gun.

So, Astros fan, did you enjoy the big New York Yankees weekend? Why, the Astros even had a chance of winning one of the games, that is until Doug Brocail let Derek Jeter homer into the right field stands on Friday night for the Yankees’ second run, giving them the 2-1 victory.

And did anybody really think that, despite Carlos Lee’s three-run first inning home run on Saturday, that the Astros were going to win that game? Well, if you did, you were wrong, because Wandy Rodriguez quickly let the Yankees get back into the game, and the Yankees won 8-4.

And don’t get me started on yesterday’s game, the 13-0 loss. Blame the umpires all you want for letting the Yankees take the 1-0 lead – which came in the third after Roy Oswalt got two outs, then gave up a double and proceeded to follow the double by walking three straight batters – but it was Oswalt who was not able to make his pitches.

Okay, it’s contest time again. Since the Astros are pretty much stinking up the joint right now (4-11 for the last 15 games), and dropping down in the standings like a lead balloon, I thought I would go about picking a team song. I give you four choices for the new Astros theme song:

Let’s hear it for the Astros. They’ve got that hold on first place (for most homers surrendered in the major leagues) and they’re not letting it go. How else can you explain Brian Moehler giving up three homers in the second inning yesterday? Or Jose Valverde giving up a two-run home run in the ninth inning, just as the Astros had made a push to get back into the game?

The Astros pitching staff has now given up 96 dingers on the season, opening up some space between them and the second place Cincinnati Reds.

The Astros lost the game 9-6. With the loss, the Astros’ record dropped to 33-34, and the team fell into a tie for fifth place with the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Astros have lost 11 of their last 14 games, and they have lost five straight series. And for the third straight series, and the fourth time in five series, the Astros won the first game of the series only to lose the last two games of each.

I’ve got to give it to the Astros. When the competition gets tough, they stand tall and stay in front.

Yeah, I know the Astros lost 10-6 to the Milwaukee Brewers last night, but that’s not the competition to which I’m referring. I’m referring to the major league lead in home runs surrendered by a pitching staff.

The Astros had been running away with this category, but from nowhere, the Cincinnati Reds had soared into competition for first place, sitting just one home run back of the Astros as the game began. And the Reds did everything possible to gain the lead, giving up three homers to the St. Louis Cardinals last night, but the Astros pitching staff refused to cave into the competition and in turn let the Brewers hit five homers.

Seeing as how Fox Sports Houston has been running text polls during games for the greatest Astros ever, by position, and seeing as how those texting have seen fit to find Morgan Ensberg and Roy Oswalt to be among the greatest Astros ever at their positions, I thought I would weigh in on the matter. So here, for your enjoyment, and to hopefully start a good discussion, is my 25-man roster of the greatest Astros. Ever.

Two criteria: the player must have been here more than half a season, so Carlos Beltran and Randy Johnson don’t count. Second: I don’t believe in a 25-man roster that has over half of its space being wasted by relief pitchers. And since most of the pitchers I name are capable of complete games, or of facing more than one batter, my roster will consist of 15 position players and 10 pitchers.

So, let’s get to it.

I’ve got a confession to make. Apparently, I’m a terrorist. I say “apparently” because I sometimes exchange fist bumps with friends, and according to Fox New Channel’s E.D. Hill, the fist bump is actually a terrorist fist jab.

You see, it seems that Barack Obama and Michelle Obama exchanged a little fist bump in front of the cameras last week before he gave a speech in St. Paul, Minnesota. And it seems that some people have never seen a fist bump, so there was lots of talk about it. I didn’t see this bump because I was busy watching the Astros and the Pirates, but I’ve been assured the bump actually happened. And it’s this fist bump which prompted Ms. Hill to ask if the fist bump is terrorist related.

(This prompts me to wonder if a low I.Q. is a requirement for employment at the Fox News Channel.)

Coming into last night’s game with the Milwaukee Brewers, the Astros had lost four straight series, and their record had dropped down to the five hundred mark. And things didn’t look promising when Brewers lead-off batter Corey Hart started off the game with a double, then advanced to third with one out on a ground ball when Miguel Tejada decided to goof off a bit. But Roy Oswalt battled out of the inning, and in the bottom of the first, Lance Berkman connected on a Seth McClung pitch with Miguel Tejada on base to put the Astros up 2-0.

And Roy Oswalt appeared to have stepped into the Wayback Machine because he pitched the game like it was 2003, when he was one of the most dominating pitchers in baseball. Except for a third inning home run to Ryan Braun which accounted for the Brewers only run, Oswalt dominated, striking out ten Milwaukee batters in seven innings.

But Oswalt’s pitching almost wasn’t enough because, after the first inning, McClung settled down, turning the game into a tight pitchers duel. Until the Brewers went to their bullpen in the form of one Julian Tavares. And thanks to bad defense, bad pitching, and bad official-scoring, the Astros found a way to put four runs up on the board to make the score 6-1, which would be the game’s final score, and the win would pull the Astros back over the five hundred mark with a 33-32 record.

So let's say you are an All-Star pitcher. You've won multiple Cy Young Awards, and many people consider you to be a first ballot Hall of Famer. Let's say you have a woman stashed in every city you play -- including a 15-year old. Let's say that you need to work on your endurance.

You wouldn't take steroids or HGH for this. Not when there's something available that's perfectly legal.

Roger Clemens. Meet Viagra.

That's right, The Rocket used the little blue pill to supposedly increase his performance, not in the bedroom with young Mindy, but on the pitching mound. So says the New York Daily News. And apparently Rocket's not the only one, because Viagra's apparently the new Performance Enhancing Drug of choice among athletes. Steroid godfather Victor Conte claims that all of his athletes used the over-the-counter form of Viagra known as Vitamin V, including Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi, and even his athlete without a penis, Marion Jones. "It's bigger than creatine," claims Conte. "It's the biggest product in nutritional supplements."

The strangeness that makes up this season’s meetings between the Houston Astros and the St. Louis Cardinals continued this weekend. There have been four series thus far, and the Astros have won the first game of every series and then lost the next two.

The Astros offense came to life Friday night as the team got to Cardinals pitcher Braden Looper to win 6-1. But the Cardinals offense resurrected on Saturday night, scoring seven runs in the second inning off of starter Shawn Chacon – on five hits and two homers – as the Cardinals coasted to the 8-4 win. Then with Wandy Rodriguez seemingly coasting to a 3-0 victory on Sunday afternoon, the Cardinals got to him for five runs in the seventh inning and went on to win the game 5-4.

The loss dropped the Astros to the five hundred mark (32-32) for the first time since early May. The third-place Milwaukee Brewers will be visiting MMP for a three-game series starting on Tuesday night. Roy Oswalt (4-6, 5.38) will get that start, opposing Seth McClung (3-2, 4.25). Brandon Backe (4-7, 4.66) gets the Wednesday night start against Manny Parra (4-2, 4.38). And Brian Moehler (3-2, 3.76) will start Thursday’s afternoon matinee against Ben Sheets (6-1, 2.62).

I want to give Bobby Heck the benefit of the doubt. Really I do. He seems to have done wonders with finding players for the Milwaukee Brewers, but damn, Jason Castro? Is he really the best the Astros could do with the tenth pick of the amateur draft? An American Idol reject? Heck, the dude can’t even remember the words to one of Bob Dylan’s most famous songs, and you’re expecting me to believe this dude can make it as a major league catcher?

Sorry, I’m not buying it. No way.

(Excuse me a second. Someone’s tapping me on the shoulder… What do you mean not that Jason Castro? It’s not the Idol dude? Thank God, because that guy sucks.)

So the Astros drafted Jason Castro out of Stanford yesterday. Another catcher. The second in three years. The second number one pick used for a catcher in three years. Damn, I hope he’s good. I wonder what the experts are saying?

Let’s go for the good news from last night’s Astros game against the Pirates. The Astros broke their streak by scoring three runs, their first time to do so in eight games. Now for the bad news. Brandon Backe gave up four runs and the Astros lost. Again. 4-3.

Here are a few things I learned during the game that amazed me. The Pirates have yet to lose a game this season when leading in the seventh inning. And coming into his last at bat of the game, my man Hunter Pence led the National League in batting with men-in-scoring-position. Unfortunately, Hunter flied out with two men on and two out in the top of the ninth to lose the game.

The Astros are now on their way home, and it’s a not a moment too soon as the team went 2-7 on this road trip. Unfortunately, the Astros weren’t exactly lighting it up at home as they started the trip having won only four of the last seven home games.