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I am in my underwear, barefoot, sitting on the kitchen counter. There's a mouse under our fridge. Impasse. |
In defiance of San Francisco parenting laws, we got Hank a pop gun for Christmas. He holds it to his mouth and makes flute sounds. |
New kid at park took Hank's favorite new truck home, so Hank has decided sharing is for suckers. Sorry, future girlfriends. |
If you lost your beautifully dressed gay man, he's at the Container Store. |
Entire bar is singing "secret lover". Celebrating Tuesday with a bottle of prosecco. |
At the heavy-pour bar where @sarahbrown and I grumbled over "weak drinks" 5 hrs into our night. |
Poetry section is next to business section at bookstore. Forced mingling. |
The baby woke at 3 a.m. Then he punched me in the face and took my wallet. |
Watching from a third floor window for half an hour. No one in the city looks up. |
Trying to be more present. So far, it's just making me mildly self conscious. Pretty sure I'm doing it wrong. |
Favorite coffee description on the shop chalkboard: Sweet pink grapefruit, stone fruit, watermelon candy. |
@shortyawards I nominate @joshacagan for 4th place in #humor because he's always been very dear to me. |
Oh good. The neighbors got karaoke. |
SF zoo ice rink is blaring "I kissed a girl". Parents, toddlers bobbing their heads in time. |
Outlet cover guy? If I see you with a screwdriver again, I will beat you down. Coffee shop etiquette: http://tinyurl.com/6pl8qp |
Fact! If it takes you a long time to blink, I'm predisposed to like you. I like slow blinkers. Also? I like pizza. |
At twitter holiday party. My phone is convulsing. |
#PopJudaica You're about to make a few appearances here too: http://mightyjunior.com/fea... Good work! |
So. Sick. Wishing I had the energy for a sworn-enemies party so I could lick everyone's appetizers. |
