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Judging by her films, marrying Reese Witherspoon involves death by car, extraordinary rendition, or(worst of all) 4 sequential Christmasses. |
Y'know, the Ponzi scheme is named after Charles Ponzi who and thats about when I got bored of the article. |
So many invites for New Years Parties that the pressure is just too much, so I'll probably stay home. And cry. |
My stride is a perfect yard. So I'm gonna be absolutely fine in the coming ruler-pocalypse. |
Just passed the Turing test. So I'm _definitely_ gay? |
PS. For all my making light, I was actually _hissed_ at in the street by another human being today. Let's fix the world, eh? Happy Holidays. |
This Week in Trans: Sure, sometimes I have bad days and really don't pass- but at least I know no one will sit next to me on the bus. |
I shouldn't spoil the prank I have lined up for Abby, but has anyone seen The Crying Game? |
Friendships based on dorm assignments seem so arbitrary. But what would I know? I spend my time stabbi- Playing card games. I love 'Bridge'. |
Apparently _everyone_ still calls them trolleys. Well. This, then, brings me to the curious problem of aluminium. |
Analysis of the Trolley Problem has left me only with this question: who the hell calls it a 'trolley'? |
"Oh, it hurts to see you dance so well, Robocop." #pipettessonglyricsthatcanbemademoreawesomethroughrobocop |
Westboro Baptist Church should be a little worried about 'Fag Santa' coming down their chimneys #ifyouknowwhatimean |
(Admin note: 2nd time today I've used 'AIDS' in a tweet. Awesome. I mean 'AIDSOME'.) |
@EffingBoring apparently does not care about her job. Which, I would like to remind you, is CURING AIDS. |
Admin note: I have 250 individual and 'witty' "thanks for following!" messages to send. Remember this when they find my body. |
Slight typo in this Bible. I mean, unless Jesus really _was_ baptized by John the Rapist. |
The only way the "No on Prop 8" campaign could've been run worse would be if they made flyers telling you that voting no also gave you AIDS. |
There are two types of people in this world: those that can't do the Rubik's cube, and people I hate. |
Sex and Sorkin have become so intertwined that now all our euphemisms are governmental terms. Oh no. Time for another "Lame Duck Congress". |
