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Are the Astros about to get caught up in the Alex Rodriguez mess? Not that anybody's making a big deal about it, yet, but the New York Daily News has a big story out about a trainer Alex Rodriguez has been involved with.

The trainer, from the Dominican Republic, is named Angel Presinal, and he's been banned from the private areas of MLB ballparks -- including locker rooms -- since the end of the 2001 season. In October of 2001, Canadian Border Service officials seized an unmarked bag containing several forms of steroids. Toronto police and the Cleveland Indians -- which had just arrived in town for a series with the Toronto Blue Jays -- were informed of the bag, and the bag was then delivered to the hotel where the Indians were staying in order to see who would claim the bag. And the lucky person to claim the bag was Presinal, who claimed that it belonged to then-Indians outfielder Juan Gonzalez.

Since he has been traded to the Houston Astros, Miguel Tejada has been fingered as a steroids user. It was discovered that he lied about his age - he's two years older than he told everyone - and the name on his birth certificate doesn't quite match the name he plays under. And now there's that whole convicted criminal who lied to Congress thing he's got going on at the moment.

Tejada's sentencing is set for March 26, and he's actually facing a year in jail. It's doubtful that will happen, but that's the maximum actual sentence he can receive. And if it should happen, the Astros are going to find themselves in need of the services of a new shortstop.

But don't worry. I've found a replacement.

You might not realize this if you've only been watching ESPN or paying attention to the national sports media, but the New York Yankees aren't the only team with players reporting to spring training, and Alex Rodriguez isn't the only player in baseball. So I thought I would help out and fill you in on some of the goings on at Astros camp in Kissimmee, Florida.

In brief, we've definitely learned that Drayton McLane is a liar and a hypocrite. And that Roy Oswalt is a blowhard. That Miguel Tejada is still a coward. That Carlos Lee needs a calendar, only he doesn't need a calendar. That the Astros are still having medical problems. And that the Chron's beat writers are actually doing a good job covering the team.

Let's start with the health of the Astros.

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For those who haven't heard the news yet, last night, Tracy McGrady told ESPN screamer/reporter Stephen A. Smith that he will be missing the rest of the season because he is having microfracture surgery on his troublesome left knee. The Rockets are refusing to comment on the story.

The Rockets should be used to no T-Mac by now, however, as he missed most of January because of this knee. This is the same knee on which he had arthroscopic surgery after last season, and he's never fully recovered. He's only the Rockets third leading scorer this season as he's averaging only 15.6 points per game when he's been able to play. He's also averaged only 4.4 rebounds per game and 5.0 assists per game while shooting a career low 39 percent from the floor. I guess this means the Rockets can forget about that T-Mac for Vince Carter trade I heard the radio voices so breathlessly discussing yesterday.

TO: President, Universal Pictures

FROM: Script Department

RE: Slap Shot Remake

We received a copy of Peter Steinfeld's (21) first draft for the planned Slap Shot remake. Before we pass it on to the director currently attached to this project (Dean Parisot, Fun With Dick and Jane), we thought we would give you a brief summary of the updated plot, plus some planned casting suggestions.

As you might recall, the original movie was set in an aging, depressed steel town in the Iron Belt. The Charlestown Chiefs were a minor league hockey team, based in the Federal League, who were a pretty mediocre team that was not drawing fans. When it was announced that the steel mill was going to close, the owner announced that he was going to fold the team at the end of the season. Worried about his future, coach Reggie Dunlop turned his guys into a team of thugs and ruffians in an attempt to pump up attendance and get the new team a new owner.

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This may hurt a little.

The Houston Astros signed Mike Hampton earlier this off-season. Mike Hampton has not pitched a complete season of baseball since 2004. And last season they signed Kaz Matsui who gets injured while standing still. Brandon Backe and Chris Sampson have had major arm surgeries. Carlos Lee is returning from injury. Hunter Pence walks into glass doors.

I could go on with a history of Houston Astros injuries, but I think you get the point. They're a team that's easily injured. And yet, with pitchers and catchers having reported to spring training last week, the Astros team doctor is here in Houston. You would think that the team doctor would be in Florida with the team. You would think wrong.

The Houston Rockets are quickly becoming an afterthought in town as Spring Training opens and their tedious soap-opera mediocrity gets pushed to the sidelines. (All of which will change in a blink, of course, if they put together a streak.)

But they're getting noticed elsewhere.

The New York Times' Sunday magazine's cover boy this weekend was Shane Battier, the "No-Stats All-Star."

Michael Lewis, the author of Moneyball -- the book showing how a revolution in stat-keeping changed how baseball GMs stack their rosters -- showed how the Rockets are doing the same thing. (He's not the first to say so, of course; among others, we profiled Rockets GM Daryl Morey and his stats obsession last year.)

But the Times' article made clear, without saying it too directly, that the Rockets basically hate each other.

Photo by Fred Trask

Mitch Love head-butts the puck into the goal. You usually only see that in soccer.

The Houston Aeros don't depend on Mitch Love for scoring goals. They depend on him for muscle. For being physical. For throwing the occasional punch when needed. But they don't depend on him for scoring.

But with a tired group of guys playing their third game in three nights, the Aeros were prepared to take their goals from anyone and at anytime. Even if it was a goal that came from a puck bouncing off of Mitch Love's head and into the goal as happened on Sunday night.

"I don't know if it was even mine," Love said. The shot at 12:00 of the first period started off of the stick of Jason Ryznar, was blocked by the goalie, and appeared to hit the helmet of Love before rebounding back into the goal to put the Aeros up 1-0 on the visiting Chicago Wolves.

"I guess they gave it to me," Love said.

Photo by speedye

The competition has ended, and just like the Philadelphia Phillies putting down the upstart Tampa Bay Rays in last year's World Series, ESPN Erin Andrews' dominated her competition once again to repeat as Playboy.com's Sexiest Sportscaster. Playboy.com attempted to toughen things up this year, so they made it a two-step competition. But despite their best efforts, and despite my attempts to get people to write in Suzy Kolber and Carrie Milbank, Erin Andrews easily won this competition again.

Here's some really useful info for all of you Erin Andrews fans. Seeing as how tomorrow is Valentine's Day, SI.com got her to give out some Valentine/dating tips. And just like those centerfold girls do, she even tells SI.com what she finds interesting in a guy. Though truthfully, I don't think any of us really stand much of a chance with her. I somehow see her ending up with a quarterback.

Photo by ToFuGuns

Srsly.

As happened so many times in his career, when it came to clutch time, Roger Clemens has failed to deliver. U.S. District Court Judge Keith Ellison today dismissed most of Roger Clemens' defamation suit against Brian McNamee, Clemens' former trainer.

Ellison partially dismissed the suit on jurisdictional issues, ruling that because McNamee's statements to George Mitchell's investigators were made in New York, and that McNamee's follow-up press statements to Sports Illustrated reporter Jon Heyman were also made in New York, the proper venue for this case is actually in New York, and thus cannot be litigated in Texas. But in a more devastating blow for Clemens, Ellison's ruling stated that McNamee's statements about Roger Clemens to George Mitchell's investigators were part of an ongoing federal investigation and could therefore not be the basis of a defamation suit against McNamee.