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As software enginner, I was responsible for several key features for the company, which I developed pretty much from scratch.

1. Lying "I am at XXXX and not near a computer, or have no reception". I never lye my way out of trouble, and it has proven itself over and over again in my life.
2. Ignoring them. That is passive-aggressive. Everyone is on their phone every once in a while. Not replying is a non communicative way of saying "f*** you" Also, this will assure the calls will continue, and I will keep being stressed, thus my vacation will not be a vacation
3. Saying to their faces "I am not going to work during my vacation" will make me appear too full of myself, as this is not the norm in this workplace.
4. Giving a very long speech which explains my point of view seems to be the best option, but I will have to make 100% sure I don't get anything wrong while giving it, and I will have to do it in person for 5 different people. Very error prone.

As software engineer, I was responsible for several key features for the company, which I developed pretty much from scratch.

1. Lying "I am at XXXX and not near a computer, or have no reception". I never lie my way out of trouble, and it has proven itself over and over again in my life.
2. Ignoring them. That is passive-aggressive. Everyone is on their phone every once in a while. Not replying is a non communicative way of saying "f*** you" Also, this will assure the calls will continue, and I will keep being stressed, thus my vacation will not be a vacation
3. Saying to their faces "I am not going to work during my vacation" will make me appear too full of myself, as this is not the norm in this workplace.
4. Giving a very long speech which explains my point of view seems to be the best option, but I will have to make 100% sure I don't get anything wrong while giving it, and I will have to do it in person for 5 different people. Very error prone.

My former boss even had a saying that made him laugh in sad irony "vacation in isn't really vacation".

My former boss even had a saying that made him laugh in sad irony "vacation in [our company name] isn't really vacation".