Scandalous Rumors About JD Vance We Can't Ignore

Between comments about "Cat ladies" and blowing up at Volodymyr Zelenskyy in a televised meeting, there are plenty of things JD Vance can be criticized for. However, some of the most scandalous rumors surrounding him haven't been quite as accurate as the time "Saturday Night Live" likened his rant at Zelenskyy to an audition for "Real Housewives of Potomac."

We'll start with one rumor about JD that just doesn't die — and which may actually have some truth to it. That is, the claim that he wears makeup. Spurred on by a number of appearances in which there was a very distinct line seen around his baby blues, JD's detractors have had a field day with the rumors. In fact, one photographer even took to X, formerly Twitter, to confirm that after taking snaps of him and zooming in, he had no doubt JD had been wearing makeup. 

Of course, it does bear mentioning that JD's wife, Usha Vance, fired back at the rampant rumors in August 2024, claiming that his lashes were all his own and joking that she was a little envious. Even so, maybe it is Maybelline (we don't know which brand he uses, if any, but go with it) combined with what he got from his mama. After all, speaking exclusively to Nicki Swift, makeup artist Luna Viola also didn't rule out the possibility of JD using eyeliner on his lower lid, though she believed his upper lashline was probably all his own. As for JD, he's never confirmed or denied anything. Figures. 

Moving on from an unproven rumor to one we know for a fact has no truth to it, we bring you the sofa situation. Brace yourselves. 

On the off-chance you were lucky enough to miss when this rumor first started doing the rounds, we'll fill you in. In July 2024, an X user used the platform to quip, "Can't say for sure but he might be the first VP pick to have admitted in a NY times bestseller to f**king an inside-out latex glove shoved between two couch cushions (Vance, Hillbilly Elegy, pp. 179-181)." It was pretty clear from the get-go that this particular story had not been shared in "Hillbilly Elegy." Even so, a number of fact-checking sites confirmed that it was bogus.

Unfortunately for JD, the rumor continued post-fact-checking, and another claim began circulating that the only reason fact-checkers hadn't picked it up was that they were looking at a different edition of his memoir. This time, screenshots of the book showed "JD" reminiscing about his, ahem, past experiences with the couch on the eve of his wedding to Usha Vance. However, one X user then told Snopes that they'd edited a pirated version of the e-book to get that particular rumor started. Well, that's not all the user said, but for propriety reasons, we shan't elaborate. One detail from the response we will share, though, is that the X user told Snopes, "I sent it on the internet to hopefully complete the work of my dark master, Lucifer, the liberator and bringer of forbidden light." Right, then. Safe to say, everything about this rumor was false. 

With the rise of Ozempic, countless celebrities have been rumored to have taken the medication to lose weight — JD Vance included. 

Speculation that JD had started taking the weight loss drug began soon after he was announced as Donald Trump's running mate. At the time, an X user questioned, "What's the dosage on his Ozempic?" That prompted a whole lot of chatter — though the thread was far from the only space of Ozempic chatter regarding JD. In fact, JD ended up addressing the rumors head-on in an interview with the Daily Mail. "I haven't taken any drugs," he told the outlet, adding that he'd started going for healthier options but that he'd also scaled back in a big way. "I tend to skip breakfast, whereas before I would have, like, you know, three waffles and scrambled eggs and bacon," he said. Sure enough, when JD was running for senate in 2022, one of his campaign advertisements saw him cooking breakfast for his daughter Mirabel Vance, and the spread included bacon and pancakes.

Luckily for JD, his efforts were appreciated by his boss. According to the Daily Mail, Donald Trump had told insiders he'd noticed how much JD had trimmed down. As an aside, according to Meredith McGraw's "Trump in Exile," even before they worked together, the same boss also referred to JD as a "Handsome son of a b***h" — so it's clear Trump has long had an interest in the author-turned-politician's appearance, Ozempic or not. 

On to another scandalous rumor regarding JD Vance: Some may remember that soon after he was named as Donald Trump's running mate, a strange rumor about his marriage to Usha Vance began circulating. 

In a post to Instagram's Threads, one user wrote, "Vance, twice divorced, chastised others for divorcing like changing [underwear]." While it's true that JD has a very strong anti-divorce stance, that was the only part of the post with any truth to it. As many responded to the post, JD was never married prior to Usha — a fact even JD's critics pointed out. "JD has only married once to Usha! As much as I loathe him, I loathe misinformation and gossip more!" wrote one. "Let us not make up stories please — win or lose — do it the right way," implored another. Another commenter happened to be a fact checker for USA Today, asking for more information. However, in addition to the original poster's not being able to back that up, the fact checker then reached out directly to JD's team and got a decisive response. "Senator Vance was not married prior to his marriage with Usha," the spokesperson told USA Today. 

JD being a divorcé would make for some piping hot tea, but this scandal was nothing more than a rumor. 

Unfortunately for the Vances, the rumor about JD Vance having been married twice before wasn't the only one surrounding their marriage. Au contraire, just days ahead of the 2024 election, JD and Usha Vance became the subject of divorce rumors. Not only that, though. Making things even more scandalous, the TikToker behind the rumor — @aubreeeeeeeeey — claimed that Usha was frantically scrambling to have the divorce granted "because she feels that after he achieves vice presidency, she will no longer be able to seek a divorce from her husband." 

Of course, @aubreeeeeeeeey then asked, "See how easy that was?" She went on to point out that spreading fake news was as easy as starting a TikTok with an inflammatory statement and continuing the ruse for around 10 seconds before admitting there was no truth to it. The comments section proved that to be the case, with countless TikTok users joking that they'd initially believed it. Some even shared that they'd been sad to learn that it wasn't true, writing that they had been happy to hear of the split. Others also shared that they'd unwittingly shared the news without hearing the end. 

One particularly funny response, though, harked back to another rumor. "OK, but who gets the couch?" they asked. Hey, the claims may be false, but at least some of them come full circle.