Humor & Cartoons

Shouts & Murmurs
Google Chrome’s Latest Updates
We understand that downloading and re-starting your browser disrupts your workflow, but you weren’t working anyway.
By Talib Babb

Shouts & Murmurs
The Least-Wanted Items at My Parents’ Estate Sale

Seventeen years’ worth of National Geographics, stacked by my father in order of “least to most erotic.” Price: $400.
By Brian Braiker

Shouts & Murmurs
What Your Swimwear Says About You

Yellow polka-dot bikini: you were deeply affected by a Yoplait Light commercial as a youth and consider this suit to be the physical manifestation of confidence.
By Madeline Goetz and Viktoria Shulevich


Shouts & Murmurs
Everything That Will Happen After I Silence My Phone at the Movie Theatre

The customer-service representative from whom I’ve been waiting for a callback for fifty-three hours will call me back one minute before I turn my phone back on.
By Meg Reid
Daily Cartoons
1/15
“These popcorn buckets are getting ridiculous.”
Cartoon by Ellen Liebenthal
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“Now that they changed the name of our lake, I probably won’t get my mail-in ballot.”
Cartoon by Tim Hamilton
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“Let’s stay here forever!”
Cartoon by Avi Steinberg
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Cartoon by Sarah Kempa
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“Luckily, the A.I. trolley will decide who to kill all on its own.”
Cartoon by Paul Noth
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Cartoon by P. C. Vey
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Cartoon by Ellis Rosen
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“Me? I’m a refugee from the meaningless, soul-killing, rapacious, stressed-out world of finance, but just for the last two weeks of August.”
Cartoon by David Sipress
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Cartoon by Matt Reuter
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“Let Mama sleep. She was up late last night staring at her phone.”
Cartoon by Jon Adams
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Cartoon by Sadie Levine
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“I bet we’re missing some great package deliveries.”
Cartoon by Ali Solomon
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“It was O.K.—the real world is scarier.”
Cartoon by Michael Maslin
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“My best defense against mosquitoes may be their preference for you.”
Cartoon by Maggie Larson
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Cartoon by Jeremy Banx
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Cartoon Caption Contest
We provide a cartoon, you provide a caption. Enter the contest, rate submissions, or vote on finalists.
Celebrity Caption Contest

Celebrity Caption Contest
Jon Hamm Enters the Caption Contest

The actor tries his hand at captioning New Yorker cartoons.
By The New Yorker

Celebrity Caption Contest
Zoe Saldaña and Zach Galifianakis Enter the Caption Contest

The “Missing Link” stars try their hand at captioning New Yorker cartoons.
By The New Yorker

Celebrity Caption Contest
Danny DeVito Enters the Caption Contest

The actor, producer, and director tries his hand at captioning New Yorker cartoons.
By The New Yorker

Celebrity Caption Contest
John Early Enters the Cartoon Caption Contest

The comedian tries his hand at captioning New Yorker cartoons.
By The New Yorker
Cartoons from the Issue
1/14
“Madeline plays strictly for her own amusement.”
Cartoon by Edward Frascino
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“This will never work. We live on different continents.”
Cartoon by Will Kiley Santino
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“Rumor is, he’s had ‘Baby Beluga’ stuck in his head for the past thirty-one years.”
Cartoon by Liana Finck
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“I didn’t mind the wait—this is what I do at home.”
Cartoon by Nathan Cooper
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“We have to stop letting all dogs into Heaven—people are getting mauled.”
Cartoon by Zachary Kanin
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Cartoon by Roz Chast
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“O.K., that should fix the leak.”
Cartoon by Jared Nangle
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“Now, can you remember which cup I trapped that wasp under? Because I can’t.”
Cartoon by Ali Solomon
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“Every minute he’s in college will break my heart and cost us six dollars.”
Cartoon by Paul Noth
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Cartoon by Edward Steed
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“Wait, instead of Fifth Avenue, can you take an impossibly thin mountain ledge?”
Cartoon by Joe Dator
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“I’d like for you to stop referring to yourself as Vlad the People Pleaser. Is there anything else you’re particularly good at?”
Cartoon by Meredith Southard
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“Paris is so romantic.”
Cartoon by Amy Hwang
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“Trade you my lunch for access to your family’s myriad political and financial connections?”
Cartoon by Lars Kenseth
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Shorts & Murmurs

Shorts & Murmurs
A “12 Inch Pianist” Walks Into a Bar

Lucas Ansel’s stop-motion short reveals a few fellow-drinkers’ deepest desires in this reimagined Shouts & Murmurs classic.
Film by Lucas AnselText by Emma Allen

Shouts & Murmurs
It’s Time to Check In for Your D.E. Eye Exam

This vision test is far from routine—don’t forget that racism starts in the retinas.
Film by Jed Feiman and Nehemiah Markos

Shorts & Murmurs
Maybe She’s Born With It. Maybe It’s . . . Something Else

Some women seem to have it all. How do they make it look so effortless?
Film by Elizabeth Zephyrine McDonough

Shorts & Murmurs
A Visit with The Talk of the Town

The Most Interesting Man in the World judges ideas for The Talk of the Town.
By The New Yorker
It’s A Racquet
1/18
Cartoon by Frank Modell
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“Remember to grunt the name of your biggest sponsor when you serve.”
Cartoon by Ivan Ehlers
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Cartoon by Sarah Kempa
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“Once more, with fury.”
Cartoon by Victoria Roberts
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Cartoon by Michael Crawford
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Cartoon by Mike Twohy
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“You can’t take a solo after every serve.”
Cartoon by Zachary Kanin
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“I really just need the one.”
Cartoon by Trevor Spaulding
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Cartoon by Jack Ziegler
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“She plays a fast game of tennis, but she never keeps score.”
Cartoon by Robert Day
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Cartoon by Liana Finck
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“Oh, Harvey, Harvey! The whole idea is to look casual. Can’t you even try to look casual?��
Cartoon by Charles Saxon
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Cartoon by Ed Fisher
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“Hey, buddy, where can I catch the 7 train?”
Cartoon by Johnny DiNapoli
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“Nick is in here, pondering his backhand.”
Cartoon by Edward Koren
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Cartoon by Eben A. Valentine
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“It’s kind of a shame, really. Before tennis they used to be the best of friends.”
Cartoon by Warren Miller
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Cartoon by Otto Soglow
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Back at It

Shouts & Murmurs
Back-to-Introversion Sale

When the kids go back to school, I’m going back to introversion.
By Talib Babb

Shouts & Murmurs
Why Shouldn’t We Let Demons Do Homework?

Using a demon is not cheating. Cheating is pawning off somebody else’s work as your own. A demon is not “somebody.” A demon is a being of pure malice.
By Charlie Dektar

Shouts & Murmurs
Can All the Sad Adults Please Step Away from Our Back-to-School Display?

Just a super-friendly reminder to all you emotionally stunted adults still wondering where your childhood went.
By Kathryn Kvas

Shouts & Murmurs
Dear Parents

Everyone is going to get pink eye eventually! And at Kinderkids Nursery School your child might even pick up a case of pirate’s gastroenteritis. Rest assured that we’ll keep you posted.
By Claire Friedman and Max Feldman
Comics




More Humor

Shouts & Murmurs
Admissions Tour: Being a Person

In the real world, you can choose your meal plan: vegan, kosher, Sustainable, Totally Unsustainable, What Zendaya Eats in a Day, American Girl Doll food. Just swipe your card.
By Jessica Bacal

Shouts & Murmurs
Help—I’m a Narrator Stuck in the Calm.com Meditation App!

Sure, rhythmic, pattering rain can help regulate your nervous system, and trigger your autonomous sensory meridian response, but me? I’m wet.
By Erita Chen

Shouts & Murmurs
America!: Newly Declassified Secrets from the C.I.A.’s Ice-Cream Archives

Orange-creamsicle lovers and a cult of soft-serve radicals, revealed.
By Ali Fitzgerald

Shouts & Murmurs
Instructions for Pet-Sitting My Dog, Cerberus

It’s just an old habit for him to block the front door. If he’s stationed there, do not order delivery.
By Brandon Follick

Shouts & Murmurs
Eat the Lotus!

Times editors realized that, unless emergency procedures were initiated, the next day’s edition would contain not a single article about Christopher Nolan’s “The Odyssey”!
By Anthony Lane

Shouts & Murmurs
A Mostly True History of Marco Rubio

No one knows Marco Rubio’s age. It’s part of his mystery. So is his height. Look it up. No one knows.
By Christopher Gangemi

Shouts & Murmurs
What My Life Would Be Like If All of Those Spam Texts Were Legit

I’d have dozens of packages shipped to me from USPSS, USP, and FidEx that only require my signature to obtain.
By Natalie Wexler

Shouts & Murmurs
Freelance Headlines Stupid Onion Editor Rejected

Married Man Still Able to Drink at Collegiate Level; Sloppy Eater Dog’s New Best Friend; and more.
By Larry Doyle

Shouts & Murmurs
Memorandum from the National Review Committee for National Day Designations

The Committee continues to recognize National Pizza Day, but denies the petition for a distinct New York-Style Pizza Day.
By Jordan Roter

Shouts & Murmurs
Dear Pepper: How to Have Some of It All?

I mourn the professional velocity I️’ve lost, along with a community of friends.
By Liana Finck