Has this recessionary Christmas transformed even the most gentle-hearted souls into Scrooges, or is rudeness an everyday evil that we have to endure throughout the year?
Many shoppers and businesses in Lake County have experienced less holiday cheer and more consumer stress as economic realities cloud yuletide celebrations.
”I was shopping with my newborn son the other day at Deerbrook Mall,”
said Nancy Cohen of Highland Park. ”I stopped my car in front of a store so that my mom could bring the baby into the store while I parked the car in the lot.”
”Two men in two different cars pulled behind my car while my mom was getting the baby out of the car seat. They both laid on their car horns for the entire two minutes that it took my mom to get the baby out of the car and then they (made inappropriate gestures with their fingers),” Cohen said.
Do difficult times make difficult people?
”Uncle” Marvin Yanow of Canine Coiffure Ltd. in Highwood remembers an incident that occurred during the last big recession that hit this country:
”Christmas is our busiest time of year. A gentleman called and wanted to board his dog during Christmas week. When I told him we were full, he screamed, `What the . . . do you mean you`re full? There`s a recession going on, don`t they know that?` It was idiotic. He thought that just because he was going away, no one else should.”
Don Coyne, a manager of cabdrivers for American Taxi, which services Lake County, attributes much of his customers` irritability to the higher expectations set by a previously affluent time.
”A lot of people have gone from limousines to cabs. They`re expecting a lot more and getting a lot less, and they`re dissatisfied,” Coyne said. ”The cab business is so far from an exact science.
”People in the service industry get especially outraged at any mistakes made by drivers. Stewards and stewardesses get outraged if there is one flaw.”
Coyne asserts, however, that customers should have less to complain about during recessionary times because the quality of cabdrivers increases when economic times are tough.
”In times of recession, we have a much greater driver pool. We get a lot of hard-working family men who have lost their jobs,” Coyne said.
If we cannot blame the economy for some of these hot-headed fellow citizens, maybe we can point the finger at holiday stress. Does the pressure of trying to be giving and cheerful make people crack?
”Have you ever been in a room with bad karma in the air? During the biggest holiday shopping weekend, after Thanksgiving, it seemed like everybody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Everybody was impatient and aggravated,” said John DiFiglio of Deerbrook Card, Party & Gift in Deerfield. An attorney describes last year`s Christmas party at his former place of business, a small corporate law firm in Highland Park.
”The partners scheduled our Christmas party for 7 p.m. and then piled the work on everyone so we had to work steadily up until the party`s official starting time. It was like they were saying, `We`re going to give you this party, but until then we`re really going to make you earn it,` ” the attorney said.
A Lake County delicatessen owner blames holiday insensitivity on shopping and party-giving panic.
”Customers are in a hurry. They want their food faster. They want to get back to their guests and their shopping,” he said.
But let`s face it, as much as we would like to attribute our fellow man`s frailties of character to external influences, such as the economy or the holidays, the bad behavior that we all see year-round proves that rudeness comes naturally to certain people.
A Lake County caterer`s experiences bolster the argument that rudeness is an everyday evil.
”In certain areas of the North Shore, people treat caterers like they`re invisible. I`ll say `excuse me` to a party guest several times when I need to pass by, and he won`t move,” the caterer said.
”Once, the host of a party we were catering didn`t like the food we were serving. Instead of mentioning his dissatisfaction discreetly to our staff, he came into the kitchen, where the staff was working, pulled out a trash can and spit a mouthful of our food in the can,” she said.
”Another thing we see a lot of is `double-dipping.` A guest takes an hors d`oeuvre, dips it in the sauce, takes a bite and then dips it again in the sauce,” the caterer said.
The most mean-spirited rudeness often is inflicted on those who work in the restaurant business.
”A customer comes in and looks at you like you`re beneath them when you acknowledge them. A few of them look at you like you are disturbing them when you ask them for their order,” said the manager of a fast-food restaurant in Highland Park. ”You are trying to satisfy them, and they look at you like you don`t exist.
”I`m not that low. I am just as equal as they are,” the manager said.
”But because we have a store in the northern suburbs, the customers act like they could take a whip and whip us like we`re maids or butlers.”
The Lake County delicatessen owner experienced incidents of rudeness that cost him money.
”A lady sent her son in the restaurant to pick up a vegetable tray she had ordered. When the son stepped out of the restaurant, he tripped and dropped the tray on the sidewalk. The mother sent her son in for a fresh tray. While we were making up the fresh tray that we were giving her for free, we looked outside and saw the mother picking up vegetables off the sidewalk and putting them on the old tray to take home along with the fresh tray,” the deli owner said.
”Another time, a customer was sitting at a table with his wife. He helped himself to a bowl of soup off the waitress` tray and spilled some soup on his own leather jacket. We paid $60 to clean the jacket, but he was not satisfied with the cleaning. We then paid to replace the jacket. I asked the customer for the old coat, which I had paid for, and I never saw him again,” the deli owner said.
New mothers who dare to venture outside of their homes with their babies are frequently subjected to rudeness wrapped in concern and dished out by older mothers.
”I was waiting in line at the grocery store with my baby, and a woman came up to me and said, `That`s a little one. Why is he out? Isn`t it too cold for hime to be out?` Then she stood there and waited for an explanation of why I would take him out when it`s cold,” said Cohen of Highland Park.
People in all walks of life often come to realize that the best way to deal with everyday evil, if possible, is with a sense of humor.
”A woman was in here trying on some clothes,” said Lynn Brodsky, co-owner with her husband of Over The Top Ltd., a sweater store in Highland Park. ”My husband was here chatting with some customers, and the woman looked at a sales clerk and said, `Does that man have to be here all the time?` The clerk replied, `He owns the store.` ”
Vicky Litwin of Ross Discount Stores in Highland Park recalls when a man came into the store to return toilet paper he had bought there.
”The man wanted to return two rolls out of a four-roll pack because they were only 1 ply. He used two rolls up before he took the time to return the pack,” Litwin said.
Sue Wrencher, a Sears customer service supervisor who responds to complaints for all the Sears stores in the Chicago area, tells a story of rudeness born out of confusion.
”We have a 1-900 technical hot line to help customers with questions on how to use or fix appliances themselves. A man called the other day and said, `Sears is so desperate that you have to resort to those nasty girls? You had to get a sex line?` ” Wrencher said.
