Got this LinkedIn message from another beverage founder startup today. It caught my attention as it’s perhaps the strangest (and vile) DM I’ve ever received. A younger (more self-conscious and less successful) version of myself might get riled up over it. But I decided to let it lie until it dawned on me that I should to leverage it into some marketing jujitsu 😊 Pro tip for entrepreneurs: if you want to build bridges, don’t open by tearing people down – especially if they’ve been successfully in the game for 15 years. That’s not how you win friends, influence people, or build a network that lasts. Now, let’s talk about the word he used — “healthy” or supposed lack thereof: I’m 50 years old: · Walk 20+ miles a week · Mountain bike, Peloton, weight train and do functional fitness, play pickleball, ski, and walk while I golf · Been in and out of CrossFit since 2009 (where I met my business partner and changed my life) · Not on any prescription drugs · Resting heart rate: 47 bpm · 6’1”, 228 lbs — sure, I could drop 10, (and have at various times) but aesthetics ≠ health I also enjoy my wine. I’m GenX: work hard, play hard, live hard. So what does “healthy” mean? To me, it’s: · Longevity over vanity · Mobility and resilience over six-packs · Quality of life > Instagram highlight reel Sure, I care about how I look and want to arose my gorgeous wife who I’ve been with for 27 years, but I stay realistic about my goals. I’ll never have a 6 pack as I’m not that genetically gifted but that’s not to say I don’t care about how I look or feel. I’m constantly striving to be a better version of myself, and those goalposts are constantly moving. And that’s at the heart of what we stand for at FitAid: being there alongside our consumers on their real health journeys — not chasing some unrealistic aesthetic. If I founded a brand that claimed to “burn body fat,” he might have a more salient attack 😊 So I’ll throw it back to you: what’s your definition of healthy?
48 BPM?? I wasn't even that low as a college track athlete (some time ago) - you might want to either get a new smart watch or a go see a Dr. That aside, I've seen more of this recently...I really don't know why? As a G X'er myself, I wonder if there is such a disparity in generational expectations. I feel like we expect nothing from anyone, which the newer generations have expectations for just showing up? Is there just a different standard in decorum? I had an interview with a guy recently who truly epitomized the newer generation attitude/expectation/behavior, and while some of it I thought was positive, I really had to think about how I would manage them. I didn't end up hiring him, but I did hire someone around the same age, who displayed more of a traditional approach. I like to think my management approach is flexible - perhaps I'm not as flexible as I thought. Good post.
This feels like the perfect opportunity to leverage this into the bigger message of being “emotionally healthy” matters as much as what’s considered to be “physically healthy.” This man seems to be at the end of his rope. His message is more about him, and not you. Maybe there’s a way you can pull him up and out of this. Then he can do the same for others?
I'm going to take the other side here . . . Settle down keyboard warriors and hear me out! Why couldn't you send a friendly "not interested" response? This IS a social networking site. Most of us are here to socialize...including selling people on stuff. But he wasn't even selling - he just wanted to chat with you about your product and the local biz ideas flowing out of your area. You sent and/or accepted a connection request and then didn't respond to a message from that person - is he wrong to try to get your attention or use that as a talking point for discussion??? I think Anthony B unveiled a great topic of discussion for us - if you are connecting with people why aren't you responding to messages? It ain't that hard to say "thanks for connecting - I'm pretty busy" or, "thanks man, but I'm not interested". The personal dig - that's a big much dude. This ain't junior high recess where Tommy calls you fat so you tell him his mom smells. If you had left that part out, I'd have had your back 100% about bringing the non-responsive connection topic to the table. This IS a social media site to connect and be "social" not silent . . . Just sayin!
This is toxicity mixed with narcissism. There’s no sign of real reasoning here—more like the mindset of someone who’s been told they’re perfect [by mom and dad] their whole life. If challenged, he’ll try to explain it away: say it was a joke, claim it was a misunderstanding, or argue his way out of it because he genuinely believes he’s the smartest person in the room. And when that fails, the blame shifts. You become the problem, the villain in his story. He’ll flip the narrative into a victim act and start looking for allies to rescue him. It’s a pattern—gaslighting, reframing, and never once taking responsibility.
Orion Melehan usually I like boldness. Not this time. You didn't need to defend your looks or lifestyle because it's irrelevant when your product works. Comedian Steve Trevino says good men, good husbands don't have a six-pack. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=498188940996897
Well said partner. Ask the guy if he wants ti come by HQ some time and we can run him thru a workout to test his fitness :)
Saw a beverage founder post something similar on Linkedin a few weeks ago. Promptly just unfollowed her. Loved that you posted the guy instead of just talking about it in generalities.
Anthony B, you actually have a false dichotomy. In your message, you present only two choices - be the nice guy or be the asshole. There are other options to consider, like - your outbound sucks, didn't land and then you got your feelings hurt. Maybe the response would've been better had you been nurturing a relationship with Orion. You strike me as the type of person that likes any kind of attention he gets, so you're probably enjoying this thread. However, that likely won't benefit your bank account or brand. Decency and respect goes a long way man.
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1yThis is what guys go like if you ignore their creepy DMs. They turn on a sixpence and you see the real person underneath. Yuck. As for healthy, diet and fitness count the most not what you look like as long as you're happy with what you look like and can do the stuff you wanna do!