Using Feedback in Development

80% of feedback never changes behavior. Not because people don’t care… But because of how it’s delivered. Your style and tone makes a difference. The feedback you give can spark change or trigger resistance. It’s not about being “nice” or “tough.” It’s about being strategic. Here are 5 approaches that turn tough conversations into growth opportunities: 1. COIN Method For when performance needs a reset. Most people jump straight to criticism. But starting with context creates safety. “In yesterday’s meeting…” feels specific. “You always…” feels like an attack. The magic is in the Next step: Don’t just point out problems. Co-create solutions. 2. SBI Model For when you’re recognizing wins or addressing gaps. Vague praise like “Great job” doesn’t teach. Specific feedback does. “When you asked that clarifying question, the client leaned in…” That’s something they can actually repeat. 3. STAR/AR Method For when someone’s ready to level up. Most feedback looks backward. This one builds forward. Review what happened → then explore alternatives. You’re not just fixing mistakes. You’re expanding capacity. 4. DESC Script For when you need to set boundaries. Boundaries don’t push people away. They build trust. The key is Express. Own your experience without blame. “I feel…” lands. “You make me feel…” doesn’t. That’s how accountability shifts. 5. GROW Model For when someone needs guidance, not answers Old-school feedback = “Here’s what to do.” GROW = “Let’s uncover it together.” The power move? Stay curious longer. Ask “What else?” at least 3 times. The best ideas usually come last. One more truth: timing beats technique. Give feedback within 48 hours when memory is fresh. Don’t fire off complaints in the moment. And don’t wait for the once-a-year performance review. Find the sweet spot where perspective is clear and the moment still matters. That’s when feedback creates growth. ♻️ Repost if this helps you (or your team) have conversations that actually create change. 👉 Follow Desiree Gruber for more tools on storytelling, leadership, and brand building.

At Radical Candor, I often hear the question, "How do I know if my feedback is landing?" The answer is simple but not always easy: Radical Candor is measured not at your mouth, but at the listener’s ear. It’s not about what you said, it’s about how the other person heard it and whether it led to meaningful dialogue and growth. Before you start giving feedback, remember the Radical Candor order of operations: get feedback before you give it. The best way to understand how another person thinks is to ask them directly and reward their candor. Next, give praise that is specific and sincere. This helps remind you what you appreciate about your colleagues, so when you do offer criticism, you can do it in the spirit of being helpful to someone you care about. When giving feedback, start in a neutral place. Don't begin at the outer edge of Challenge Directly, as this might come across as Obnoxious Aggression. Just make sure you're above the line on Care Personally and clear about what you're saying. Pay attention to how the other person responds - are they receptive, defensive, sad, or angry? Their reaction will guide your next steps. If someone becomes sad or angry, this is your cue to move up on the Care Personally dimension. Don't back off your challenge - that leads to Ruinous Empathy. Instead, acknowledge the emotion you're noticing: 'It seems like I've upset you.' Remember that emotions are natural and inevitable at work. Sometimes just giving voice to them helps both people cope better. If someone isn't hearing your feedback or brushing it off, you'll need to move further out on Challenge Directly. This can feel uncomfortable, but remember - clear is kind. You might say, 'I want to make sure I'm being as clear as possible' or 'I don't feel like I'm being clear.' Use 'I' statements and come prepared with specific examples. Most importantly, don't get discouraged if feedback conversations sometimes go sideways. We tend to remember the one time feedback went wrong and forget the nine times it helped someone improve and strengthened our relationship. Focus on optimizing for those nine successes rather than avoiding the one potential difficult conversation. Creating a culture of feedback takes time and practice. Each conversation is an opportunity to get better at both giving and receiving feedback. When you get it right, feedback becomes a powerful tool for building stronger relationships and achieving better results together. What’s one small adjustment you’ve made to give or receive better feedback? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Duolingo didn’t always have Product Review, but it’s one of the best processes we’ve implemented. Here’s why: When we were a small company (maybe 25 employees) the process for getting something in the product was pretty informal: walk up to Luis von Ahn or Tyler Murphy (our head designer), sit with them at their desks, show them the design, get approved. This was okay, until we noticed something: the designers who sat closest to Tyler, and the PMs who sat closest to Luis, were developing much faster than their peers. They got more feedback more often, and so could learn and iterate much faster than others. We also noticed that our engineers, who rarely interfaced with Tyler and Luis, were developing much more quickly across the board. Why was this? Engineers always reviewed each other’s code before going into production. They were constantly learning from each other thanks to a defined and consistent process. Product Review was a game-changer for talent development and product quality, because it created a process for documenting and reviewing changes. People weren’t just showing a spec at a desk—they were using a template to explain the change and the impact. And we had a system for evaluating those changes—the stakeholders were aligned and discussion happened in one meeting rather than at a desk/via Slack/in the hallway/in a fishtank… etc. Because we shared notes after PRs, PMs and designers started to improve much faster, because they got consistent feedback and could learn from each other’s reviews. Start-ups are often scared of process—they think it adds bureaucracy and slows things down. But in some cases, a good process is essential to growing the people and the product. We wouldn’t be where we are today without it. The team has iterated a lot on Product Review since our early days (I rarely join a PR anymore) but here’s the initial template I shared for PMs/designers to fill out back in 2015:

If your feedback isn't changing behavior, you're not giving feedback—you're just complaining. After 25 years of coaching leaders through difficult conversations, I've learned that most feedback fails because it focuses on making the giver feel better rather than making the receiver better. Why most feedback doesn't work: ↳ It's delivered months after the fact ↳ It attacks personality instead of addressing behavior ↳ It assumes the person knows what to do differently ↳ It's given when emotions are high ↳ It lacks specific examples or clear direction The feedback framework that actually changes behavior: TIMING: Soon, not eventually. Give feedback within 48 hours when possible Don't save it all for annual reviews. Address issues while they're still relevant. INTENT: Lead with purpose and use statements like - "I'm sharing this because I want to see you succeed" or "This feedback comes from a place of support." Make your positive intent explicit. STRUCTURE: Use the SBI Model. ↳Situation: When and where it happened ↳Behavior: What you observed (facts, not interpretations) ↳Impact: The effect on results, relationships, or culture COLLABORATION: Solve together by using statements such as - ↳"What's your perspective on this?" ↳"What would help you succeed in this area?" ↳"How can I better support you moving forward?" Great feedback is a gift that keeps giving. When people trust your feedback, they seek it out. When they implement it successfully, they become advocates for your leadership. Your feedback skills significantly impact your leadership effectiveness. Coaching can help; let's chat. | Joshua Miller What's the best feedback tip/advice, and what made it effective? #executivecoaching #communication #leadership #performance

Performance reviews often leave people deflated. But the ones that inspire? They focus on potential, not just performance. Here’s how to create those conversations: 1 / Be specific about what you observed Use the SBI model to share it clearly. → Situation: When and where it happened → Behavior: What you observed, not your interpretation → Impact: How it affected the team or results 2 / Challenge them because you care Radical Candor isn’t about being nice or tough.  It’s about doing both. → Make criticism immediate and specific → Show you care about their growth → Praise publicly, critique privately 3 / Use language that opens doors The words you choose shape how people receive feedback. → “You’re not good at this” shuts people down → “You haven’t mastered this yet” creates possibility → That one word — yet — shifts everything 4 / Don’t hide feedback between compliments People remember the start and end better than the middle. → Give praise when you mean it → Give constructive criticism when it’s needed → Keep them separate 5 / Focus on where they’re going When the conversation is about the future, it motivates. → What would success look like for you? → What support do you need to get there? → What skills do you want to develop? 6 / Ask for their perspective too Performance reviews shouldn’t be one-sided. → Have them complete a self-assessment first → Compare notes together in the meeting → They often already know what needs to improve Performance reviews don’t have to be dreaded. Your team wants honest feedback. They just want it delivered in a way that sees their potential, not just their mistakes. ♻️ If this resonates, repost for your network. 📌 Follow Amy Gibson for more leadership insights.

How you receive feedback Determines how successful you become (in career and life). 4 proven tips to help you gracefully accept the gift of feedback: 1/ Listen actively Why: By approaching feedback with curiosity, you show a willingness to listen to understand (vs. to respond) the other person's perspective. How: Maintain eye contact, nod to acknowledge understanding, and wait until the person has finished speaking before responding. Remember, listening doesn't mean you agree with everything. "Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my presentation. I'm curious to learn more. Can you elaborate on the areas you think need improvement and what advice you have on how I can approach these differently?" 2/ Seek diverse perspectives Why: Asking for feedback from different people gives you a clearer picture of what you’re doing well and where you can improve. Plus, it helps you spot patterns in how others see your work. How: After receiving feedback on risk management from one person, reach out to others for additional perspective. "I'm looking to improve the quality of my risk management and reporting within my program. Do you have any advice for me in this area? Your input will help me de-risk execution and provide more accurate representation to stakeholders." 3/ Take time to process and reflect Why: Feedback can sting at first contact. Taking time to process it helps you manage your emotional response and consider it objectively. You can then identify key takeaways and develop a plan for implementing changes. How: "I appreciate your feedback on my communication style. I want to take some time to reflect on your suggestions and consider how to incorporate them into my interactions with the team. Can we schedule a follow-up meeting to discuss my action plan next week?" 4/ Express gratitude and close the loop Why: Expressing gratitude shows that you value the person's time and effort in providing feedback. Following up proves you’re serious about improving. How: "Thank you for sharing your feedback on my project estimations. Your input on factoring dependency review timelines has given me valuable perspective. Attached is the revised proposal based on your suggestions. I welcome any additional feedback you may have." PS: Feedback is not all-or-nothing. Even if you don't agree with everything, there's usually something valuable to take away. PPS: How gracefully you handle feedback directly correlates with whether others will give it to you (again). Image Credit: Roberto Ferraro

Constructive criticism is a powerful tool for growth, and knowing what went wrong can help me make the necessary adjustments for future opportunities. Receiving feedback helps me understand areas where I might have fallen short, whether it's in my skills, communication, or understanding of the role. Without that feedback, I'm left in the dark, unsure of what went wrong or what I need to focus on for personal development. It’s not just about hearing “no,” it’s about learning from the experience and improving myself for the next challenge. I value transparency, and a little insight into what could have been better would be incredibly helpful. When feedback is given, it shows that the company cares about the candidate’s growth, even if they aren’t the right fit for the role at the moment. It’s a small step that can make a big difference in how a candidate approaches their job search and career growth. Constructive feedback allows me to refine my skills, work on areas of weakness, and come back stronger for the next opportunity. It also enhances the candidate experience, leaving me with a positive impression of the company, even if I’m not selected for the role. Providing feedback doesn’t only benefit me as a candidate it also helps the company in the long run by fostering a positive and respectful interview process. When HR takes the time to guide candidates, it reflects well on the company’s culture and commitment to growth, both for its employees and potential hires. In the end, feedback creates a win-win situation for everyone involved, turning a rejection into an opportunity for self-improvement.

Product managers & designers working with AI face a unique challenge: designing a delightful product experience that cannot fully be predicted. Traditionally, product development followed a linear path. A PM defines the problem, a designer draws the solution, and the software teams code the product. The outcome was largely predictable, and the user experience was consistent. However, with AI, the rules have changed. Non-deterministic ML models introduce uncertainty & chaotic behavior. The same question asked four times produces different outputs. Asking the same question in different ways - even just an extra space in the question - elicits different results. How does one design a product experience in the fog of AI? The answer lies in embracing the unpredictable nature of AI and adapting your design approach. Here are a few strategies to consider: 1. Fast feedback loops : Great machine learning products elicit user feedback passively. Just click on the first result of a Google search and come back to the second one. That’s a great signal for Google to know that the first result is not optimal - without tying a word. 2. Evaluation : before products launch, it’s critical to run the machine learning systems through a battery of tests to understand in the most likely use cases, how the LLM will respond. 3. Over-measurement : It’s unclear what will matter in product experiences today, so measuring as much as possible in the user experience, whether it’s session times, conversation topic analysis, sentiment scores, or other numbers. 4. Couple with deterministic systems : Some startups are using large language models to suggest ideas that are evaluated with deterministic or classic machine learning systems. This design pattern can quash some of the chaotic and non-deterministic nature of LLMs. 5. Smaller models : smaller models that are tuned or optimized for use cases will produce narrower output, controlling the experience. The goal is not to eliminate unpredictability altogether but to design a product that can adapt and learn alongside its users. Just as much as the technology has changed products, our design processes must evolve as well.

My workshop feedback method has a 100% response rate — and uses zero forms. I ditched post-workshop surveys because… no one filled them out and the ones who did wrote things like “Great workshop 🤗 ” (helpful… ish ⁉️ ). So now I use my four-question, four-colour sticky-note system at the closing of a workshop. It’s fast, visual, and human. It surfaces real language, real commitments, and real insight. Reflection becomes baked into the workshop instead of bolted on. Here’s the magic. I ask everyone to respond to these phrases individually 🟡 “I learned / liked / aha!” - Quick bursts of insight. One idea per sticky. No faffing. 🟢 “I will…” (What ideas do you plan to implement immediately?) - The gold. Actual commitments. I can instantly see what’s going to live beyond the room. 🔴 “I wish…” (What support do you need or what else do you wish we had explored today?) - Constructive, honest improvement ideas and what they need to succeed post-workshop. Better than any anonymous text box. 🔵 One word (What single word best describes your overall reaction to the session?) - These become my word cloud*, and it tells me the emotional temperature in one glance. Then, in small groups, participants choose their top insights, star them, and share them with the room. It turns into this joyful moment where you can see what activities really landed and what learning truly stuck. Impact? • I can literally see what resonated. • The “I will…” notes show behaviour change starting before people even leave the room. • The “I wish…” notes help me evolve each workshop immediately. • And the one-word cloud gives me a pulse check that’s surprisingly accurate. (see word cloud from 10 workshops* - 210 words - in comments) Yes, I still type them all into a spreadsheet by hand (there’s something human and connective about reading people’s handwriting). Then I let AI help me spot themes and patterns. It’s simple. It’s human. It works. And gives clients tangible, meaningful insights... Curious: how do you gather feedback that actually helps you get better? #PlayMore #JudgeLess #feedback #facilitation

Getting the right feedback will transform your job as a PM. More scalability, better user engagement, and growth. But most PMs don’t know how to do it right. Here’s the Feedback Engine I’ve used to ship highly engaging products at unicorns & large organizations: — Right feedback can literally transform your product and company. At Apollo, we launched a contact enrichment feature. Feedback showed users loved its accuracy, but... They needed bulk processing. We shipped it and had a 40% increase in user engagement. Here’s how to get it right: — 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝟭: 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗙𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 Most PMs get this wrong. They collect feedback randomly with no system or strategy. But remember: your output is only as good as your input. And if your input is messy, it will only lead you astray. Here’s how to collect feedback strategically: → Diversify your sources: customer interviews, support tickets, sales calls, social media & community forums, etc. → Be systematic: track feedback across channels consistently. → Close the loop: confirm your understanding with users to avoid misinterpretation. — 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝟮: 𝗔𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘆𝘇𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 Analyzing feedback is like building the foundation of a skyscraper. If it’s shaky, your decisions will crumble. So don’t rush through it. Dive deep to identify patterns that will guide your actions in the right direction. Here’s how: Aggregate feedback → pull data from all sources into one place. Spot themes → look for recurring pain points, feature requests, or frustrations. Quantify impact → how often does an issue occur? Map risks → classify issues by severity and potential business impact. — 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝟯: 𝗔𝗰𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀 Now comes the exciting part: turning insights into action. Execution here can make or break everything. Do it right, and you’ll ship features users love. Mess it up, and you’ll waste time, effort, and resources. Here’s how to execute effectively: Prioritize ruthlessly → focus on high-impact, low-effort changes first. Assign ownership → make sure every action has a responsible owner. Set validation loops → build mechanisms to test and validate changes. Stay agile → be ready to pivot if feedback reveals new priorities. — 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝟰: 𝗠𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁 What can’t be measured, can’t be improved. If your metrics don’t move, something went wrong. Either the feedback was flawed, or your solution didn’t land. Here’s how to measure: → Set KPIs for success, like user engagement, adoption rates, or risk reduction. → Track metrics post-launch to catch issues early. → Iterate quickly and keep on improving on feedback. — In a nutshell... It creates a cycle that drives growth and reduces risk: → Collect feedback strategically. → Analyze it deeply for actionable insights. → Act on it with precision. → Measure its impact and iterate. — P.S. How do you collect and implement feedback?