Overcoming Professional Setbacks

Don’t let them kill your vibe ☀️ It's easy to become disheartened and cynical when encountering negativity, betrayal, or cruelty from others. However, allowing bad experiences to harden your heart can lead to bitterness and a loss of compassion. Maintaining your kindness, despite adversity, is essential for your well-being and the positive impact you can have on the world. Why It Matters: Preserve Your Integrity: Staying true to your values and principles, regardless of others' actions, ensures you maintain your integrity and self-respect. Your actions define who you are, not the behavior of others. Set an Example: By consistently being good, you become a role model. Your behavior can inspire others to act with kindness and integrity, creating a ripple effect of positivity. Personal Fulfillment: Acts of kindness and maintaining a positive outlook contribute to personal fulfillment and happiness. They reinforce your sense of purpose and connection to others. Resilience: Choosing goodness builds resilience. It strengthens your ability to cope with negativity and adversity without losing your core values. How to stay kind, in an unkind environment: Practice Empathy: Understand that negative behaviors often stem from others' pain or insecurity. Responding with empathy rather than anger can diffuse conflict and promote understanding. Set Boundaries: Protect yourself from harmful individuals by setting clear boundaries. This allows you to remain good without being taken advantage of. Focus on Positivity: Surround yourself with positive influences. Engage with people and activities that uplift and support your well-being. Reflect and Grow: Use negative experiences as opportunities for personal growth. Reflect on what you can learn and how you can strengthen your character. Engage in Acts of Kindness: Regularly perform acts of kindness, no matter how small. Helping others can reinforce your commitment to goodness and positively impact your community. Seek Support: When dealing with negativity, seek support from friends, family, or professional counselors. They can offer perspective and help you stay grounded in your values. Being kind, even in the face of negativity, you contribute to a more compassionate world. Your actions can inspire others and create a legacy of positivity and resilience

My LinkedIn tells you that I am a successful engineering manager working at Google & living the dream but here’s what it won’t tell you: ► Back in 2008, after completing my masters in the USA at Cornell University, I  was unemployed for 9 months.  ► I was rejected by Microsoft, 5 times (2 times in the same year & 2 different countries)    ► Startups turned me down because I couldn't write a Binary Search Tree.  ► Google rejected me because I couldn't explain how Hadoop works.  ► When I finally landed a job, I was told: "You’re not good enough to be a software engineer."  I broke production code. Multiple times.   As an architect, I built a product that didn’t scale.   As a new manager, two engineers quit my team—because of me.  But my biggest failure?  ► I caused a million-dollar outage at Amazon.   Millions of users were impacted.   Amazon.com went down for five minutes.   And I was the reason.   3 Lessons from my journey to help you become a TOP engineer: ✅ 1. T : Talent is overrated and You will fail. Accept it, but don’t stop.   - Every engineer screws up. The difference is who keeps going and learns from it.   - Your failures won’t define you, what you do after them will.  ✅ 2. O : Own your mistakes as Writing code is easy.    - It’s easy to blame deadlines, bad specs, or teammates.   - Great engineers take responsibility, learn from failure, and improve.   - No one remembers your mistake forever. But they will remember how you handled it.  ✅ 3. P : Problem solving is permanent. Knowledge is temporary.   - You won’t always know the answer. You’ll forget concepts.   - What matters is your ability to learn fast, debug effectively, and think through problems.   - The best engineers aren’t those who know everything, hey’re the ones who figure things out.  Failures aren’t career-ending. They’re career-defining.  So, fail, learn, and keep building. 

I've recently suffered a major career setback. Since I teach about high performance and career growth, I want to share how I am addressing it. One day you will need this recipe yourself! My goal in my current "career" is to reach as many people as I can, and to help them achieve career success and satisfaction. For the last three years, the way to do this has been through LinkedIn. Unfortunately, LinkedIn recently made some unknown changes to their algorithm. Other Top Voices and I have noticed a drop of 70% to 80% in the reach of our posts. Since my goal is to share my knowledge with more people, that means my goal just took an 80% hit. In general, setbacks in performance are either due to: A) Something we did Or B) Something external, outside our direct control Mistakes, poor decisions, and missed deadlines are examples of A. They are in our control. Things like Covid, high interest rates, and reorganizations at work are examples of B, outside our control. LinkedIn's change is also case B, outside my control. When a setback comes from something in your control, you know clearly what you did wrong and what you need to change to restore your performance and progress. Fixing your own issues may take time and be difficult, but you know what to do. When the setback is due to something outside your control, you do not know how to fix the issue. So, how can we react when our performance is shattered and we do not know why? Here is my recipe: 1. Allow yourself a fixed amount of time to grieve (and complain if you wish). Emotions are real, and before you can move on you will need to sit with those emotions. But, do not get stuck in them. Curse your bad luck, pout for a minute, etc. Then, move to the next step. 2. Refocus on your core value. Whatever happened, go back to how you define high performance to ensure it is still relevant. I admit, I slipped into defining my own performance by how many people viewed my LinkedIn posts. This was a mistake. My mission is to help others, so getting views is a proxy, not a result. And, using LinkedIn is just a method for the mission, not the mission itself. 3. Adapt your core value if you must (if its value has decreased). In my case, the value of what I offer hasn't changed, the external delivery system has. 4. Once you adapt and/or increase your value, find new ways to deliver it if necessary. Luckily, I have other options for reaching people: my Substack newsletter, YouTube, etc. Since Substack has been such a good partner recently, I will start there. I have also refocused how I write on LinkedIn to make every post focused on my goal. 5. Test, measure, adapt, repeat! Really, this step is everything. Once you get past the grief, jump into action in this loop. Nothing can stop you if you keep working to refine, deliver, and showcase your core value. Comments? Here's my newsletter, which is my next area of investment: https://lnkd.in/gXh2pdK2

What’s really holding you back? Spoiler alert: It’s not your skills. How many times have you felt like you’re not up for the job? That you’re not qualified? Or that someone else could do it better? Here’s the reality: ➡️ 13% of employees and 20% of senior managers admit they frequently feel like a fraud. ➡️ 54% of women report experiencing imposter syndrome, compared to 38% of men. I get it, because I’ve been there. I used to struggle with being visible - giving speeches, creating content online, even doing TV interviews. Despite decades of experience, there was always a little voice in my head whispering: “Do people really want to hear from you? What if they laugh at you?” Here’s the truth: It’s not based on facts - it’s just the noise in our heads. Here’s how you can overcome imposter syndrome and show up like you deserve to: 1/ The Imposter Loop ↳ You doubt every win and question every achievement. ↳ Own your story: You earned your seat at the table. ↳ Write down three wins you’re proud of. Seeing them silences the noise. 2/ The Permission Trap ↳ You wait to feel ready or for someone to say “go.” ↳ Stop waiting: Start before you’re ready. ↳ Set a deadline and commit publicly - action builds momentum faster than waiting for confidence to strike. 3/ The Comparison Game ↳ You stalk others’ success and compare your chapter 1 to their chapter 20. ↳ Run your own race: Their doubts, fears, and failures aren’t in the highlight reel. ↳ Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger self-doubt. Focus on progress, not perfection. 4/ The Perfectionism Loop ↳ You polish endless drafts, overthink every detail, and never feel “good enough.” ↳ Launch at 80%: Fix it in flight. Done is better than perfect. ↳ Set a timer for your next task and stop when it’s ‘good enough.’ Progress beats perfection every time. 5/ The Silence Spiral ↳ You keep your struggles hidden and pretend you’ve got it all figured out. ↳ Share your story: You’ll be surprised how many people say “me too.” ↳ Find a peer or mentor and share one struggle you’re facing. Vulnerability builds connection. 6/ The Safety Net ↳ You stay in your comfort zone and call it “being realistic.” ↳ Take the leap: Growth lives outside your comfort zone. ↳ Identify one “safe” habit you’re clinging to. Replace it with one bold action, no matter how small. 7/ The Knowledge Shield ↳ You hide behind preparation, waiting to know “just one more thing.” ↳ Start doing: Expertise comes from action. ↳ Turn learning into doing: Commit to acting on one idea from the last book, course, or workshop you completed. What would be possible if you silenced those doubts once and for all? For me, it meant saying yes to opportunities I used to avoid - like speaking on stage and sharing my story. ⤵️ Have you ever felt like a fraud despite your accomplishments? How did you work through it? ♻️ Share this post to remind someone they’re not alone. 🔔 Follow me, Jen Blandos, for advice on business, entrepreneurship, and well-being.

A reality check for anyone who needs it:    (We all do, from time to time)   If you’re running on empty, everything suffers.    → Creativity drops. → Work slows down. → You get snappy, tired, and worn down.   And that’s not just stress.  That’s burnout creeping in.   So you need to make the effort to protect yourself.   Here’s how:   1) Set Boundaries ↳ Log off when your workday ends. ↳ Don’t let work bleed into your evenings and weekends.   2) Schedule Non-Negotiable Breaks ↳ Block 10–15 minutes between meetings. ↳ Step away. Clear your head. Guard that time. 3) Track Your Workload Weekly ↳ Keep an honest log. ↳ Spot the overload before it crushes you.   4) Say No Without Guilt ↳ Protect your time. ↳ If it’s not urgent or essential, let it wait - or delegate it.   5) Stop Overcommitting ↳ You’re not meant to carry it all. ↳ Do your job well - but stop trying to do everything. 6) Prioritise Sleep and Rest ↳ You’re not a robot. ↳ Sleep matters. So does mentally switching off.   You can’t do your best work when you’re burning out.   Step back.  Recharge.  Refocus.   Self-care isn’t lazy.    It’s necessary.   Do you agree?   ♻️ Found this helpful? Repost to help your LinkedIn network.   And follow Rob Dance for more LinkedIn content like this!

Have you ever written a personal Failure Log? It’s a simple but powerful self-improvement technique which builds mental resilience. Setbacks happen in everyone’s career journey. But documenting the decisions and circumstances that lead to failure will let you transform defeats into lessons and strengthen your capacity to bounce back. It’s easy to do too. Here’s how to write a Failure Log: Pick a format (spreadsheet, notebook, or digital journal) and a frequency (weekly is good for reflection). For each entry, answer: - What went wrong? - What did I learn? - How will I change my approach next time?   Use one or two sentences to answer each question. Stay objective. Use a neutral tone (“I didn’t delegate enough tasks”) rather than inflammatory statements (“I’m terrible at managing projects”). Focus on describing events and lessons, rather than beating yourself up. The aim is insight, not self-blame. Review your entries every month or two to spot patterns — maybe you sometimes underestimate timelines or often fail to communicate well enough with stakeholders. Over time, you’ll course-correct with consistent strategies. Celebrating your successes is important, but objectively acknowledging your failures will often yield the most impactful lessons. A Failure Log can be a transformative tool to consistently improve your outcomes. Best of all, over time you’ll develop a more resilient form of confidence — grounded in reality, not wishful thinking. What techniques do you use to learn from your own professional setbacks?

Rejection after a serious interview is rarely about capability. More often it comes down to fit, timing, or how effectively you communicated your strengths. Those are very different issues, yet most of us experience them as the same thing. When a dream role slips away, it feels personal. But what hurts most is not the decision itself. It’s the story we tell ourselves about what it means. The fear that you misread your potential. The fear that this was your one shot. The fear that you should pull back instead of trying again. That is where we go wrong. Rejection is not a verdict. It is information, and your next step depends on interpreting it correctly. When a role does not work out, try diagnosing the outcome through two lenses: 👉 Skill gap There was a core capability you had not built yet. This is fixable with practice, training, or targeted experience. 👉 Signal gap Your background was strong, but the way you framed your experience was unclear. Your examples did not highlight the strengths the hiring team needed to see. These are different challenges, and knowing which one applies saves you months of guesswork. Career progress is almost never blocked entirely. It is often redirected. Competitors hire for similar roles. Adjacent positions develop the right skills. Vendors, partners, and feeder teams can be strategic pathways into the work you want to do. And if the company truly mattered to you, stay visible. Send a thoughtful note. Track their growth. Keep the relationship warm. Timing shifts faster than most people realize. Rejection does not define your potential. It reflects alignment at a single moment in time. People who stay stuck internalize that moment. People who move forward learn from it and keep going. Follow for clear, steady thinking about career strategy.

Early in my career, when I shared the story of a workshop that completely bombed (an email announcing layoffs arrived in everyone's inbox during day 1 lunch of a two-day program -- and I had no idea how to handle this), three women immediately reached out to share their own "disaster" stories. We realized we'd all been carrying shame about normal learning experiences while watching men turn similar setbacks into compelling leadership narratives about risk-taking and resilience. The conversation that we had was more valuable than any success story I could have shared. As women, we are stuck in a double-bind: we are less likely to share our successes AND we are less likely to share our failures. Today, I'm talking about the latter. Sharing failure stories normalizes setbacks as part of growth rather than evidence of inadequacy. When we women are vulnerable about their struggles and what they learned, it creates permission for others to reframe their own experiences. This collective storytelling helps distinguish between individual challenges and systemic issues that affect many women similarly. Men more readily share and learn from failures, often turning them into evidence of their willingness to take risks and push boundaries. Women, knowing our failures are judged more harshly, tend to hide them or frame them as personal shortcomings. This creates isolation around experiences that are actually quite common and entirely normal parts of professional development. Open discussion about setbacks establishes the expectation that failing is not only normal but necessary for success. It builds connection and community among women who might otherwise feel alone in their struggles. When we reframe failures as data and learning experiences rather than shameful secrets, we reduce their power to limit our future risk-taking and ambition. Here are a few tips for sharing and learning from failure stories: • Practice talking about setbacks as learning experiences rather than personal inadequacies • Share what you learned and how you've applied those lessons, not just what went wrong • Seek out other women's failure stories to normalize your own experiences • Look for patterns in women's challenges that suggest systemic rather than individual issues (and then stop seeing systemic challenges as personal failures!) • Create safe spaces for honest conversation about struggles and setbacks • Celebrate recovery and growth as much as initial success • Use failure stories to build connection and mentorship relationships with other women We are not the sum of our failures, but some of our failures make us more relatable, realistic, and ready for our successes. So let's not keep them to ourselves. #WomensERG #DEIB #failure

These two Veterans are living examples of a wise saying: Disability does not mean Inability. Professionally, we are all cognizant of the skills that we wish we had— and we are often faced with choices on how to process this. One choice is to shy away from opportunities and just stick to things we’re good at. A second choice is to face our weaknesses head on and try anyway— either by striving to get there with another path, or by surrounding ourselves with people who fill our gaps so that the whole team is successful. Veterans like Robert Morris and Koren Woodworth constantly remind me to take the second choice. I had a chance to meet them at our annual Winter Adaptive Sports Clinic recently in Snowmass, CO. Robert is an Army Veteran who suffered a C5-C6 spinal cord injury after a motor vehicle accident 41 years ago. He has had some tough times with recovery and therapy, but decided that he wouldn’t let his disability prevent himself from doing the things he loved. With hard work, he became an active adaptive sports athlete, including air rifles, bowling, boccia, and power soccer. Three years ago, he joined the winter sports clinic for the first time, and took up sit skiing. He is also a peer mentor to Veterans with spinal cord injury, introducing adaptive sports to so many over the years. He has also managed to serve as treasurer of Paralyzed Veterans of America in Ohio. Koren is also an Army Veteran who served in two deployments overseas as a combat medic. She went on to further her nursing career to become an LPN— and became a specialist in the Community Reintegration Program and Recreation Therapy at VA Cleveland— helping Veterans with disabilities like Robert engage with recreational therapies like adaptive sports every day. Robert and Koren routinely help other Veterans make choice number 2: tackling their own adversities and perceived weaknesses with hard work and dedication, but also, surrounding themselves with others who can help them get there. No matter what our weaknesses are professionally, we can all learn a lot from Robert and Koren.

I’ve been laid off three times in my career. And each one sent me in a direction I never expected. Here are 15 of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from those moments: 1. Your job title is not your identity. You are more than your role. 2. The most uncomfortable seasons usually spark the most growth. 3. You will bounce back. And often, better than before. 4. It’s hard not to take it personally—even when it’s not. 5. Each time I’ve been laid off, I’ve come back twice as strong. 6. Company loyalty is a myth. Put your career first. 7. At the end of the day, no one’s watching your back but you. 8. Your boss probably wasn’t the one who made the call. 9. You were a budget line item. Nothing more. 10. Yes, someone less qualified will keep their job. It’s frustrating. 11. Networking without direction is a waste of time. 12. Everything in life runs in cycles. The lows don’t last forever. 13. Enjoy the highs while you have them. They won’t always stick around. 14. This might be the perfect chance to shift your career path entirely. 15. Always stay ready. Build real skills, grow your network, and learn how to market yourself effectively. Don’t wait until your back’s against the wall. Getting laid off can be one of the hardest things you go through. But it can also be the moment that launches you toward something bigger. And for me? I created an entire brand around sharing my experiences. What’s the biggest lesson you learned from being laid off?