Handling Workplace Frustrations

Someone sent an email early this week: “Being around new people makes me quite uncomfortable. Until now, my job was fully remote, which suited me well. We’ve recently shifted to a hybrid model, and I’ve realized that I become overly conscious. My seniors have also started treating me like a pushover by assigning unnecessary deadlines and putting me under pressure, even when there’s no urgency. How can I stand up for myself without damaging my work relationships?” She further explained: - I believe I am an introverted person and have always been that way. - I often view myself as inferior to others in social or official gatherings. - The way some seniors speak to me, often with a very authoritative tone, makes me feel disheartened. - I think a part of me holds back out of respect. I replied: You’re not broken. But you are stuck in a story that no longer serves you. You call yourself an introvert. But introversion isn’t the issue here. Avoidance is. You're avoiding them because you're afraid of not measuring up. That’s self-doubt disguised as personality. You feel inferior in social settings because others have seen more, done more. Sure. But here’s the truth: Nobody ever learned how to swim by standing on the shore and watching others talk about the ocean. You’ll learn by showing up as you are, not by waiting till you become "enough." Now to the workplace. You say you don’t push back because you don’t want to be disrespectful or argumentative.  Being assertive is not being disrespectful. And being silent is not being respectful. It’s being invisible. You are not helping your future self by avoiding temporary discomfort today. Here’s what I would do: - Pick one moment this week to say something you normally wouldn’t. Start small. But start. - Script your pushback: “I understand the urgency, but I’ll need until X to do this well.” Firm. Respectful. Clear. - Stop apologizing for not knowing enough. Nobody knows everything. You’re allowed to ask. You’re allowed to not have been everywhere. You’re allowed to learn in real time. This version of you - the quiet one, the one who makes herself smaller - is a story that needs to stop. Time to write a better one. Image via Colby Kultgen and Ben Meer 

Losing control for seconds can cost you credibility for months. 10 real-world examples – and smarter ways to respond. Anyone can look confident when things are smooth. The real test comes when you’re triggered – and still choose calm. Here are 10 common scenarios where people “lose it,” how it hurts them, and what to do instead: 1. A colleague taking credit ❌ Angry confrontation creates drama. ✅ “I’m glad this project is moving forward – here’s the part my team and I led.” 2. Critical feedback in meetings ❌ Getting defensive makes you lose credibility. ✅ Pause, thank them, and say you’ll reflect before responding. 3. Being interrupted ❌ Snapping back makes you look insecure. ✅ Hold steady, let them finish, then calmly return to your point. 4. Not being acknowledged for your work ❌ Complaining looks like insecurity. ✅ Document wins and weave them into conversations strategically. 5. Tough questions from senior leaders ❌ Panic mode signals you’re unprepared. ✅ Take a breath, ask clarifying questions, and answer with structure. 6. Office gossip ❌ Emotional reactions make you look complicit. ✅ Stay neutral and redirect to constructive topics. 7. Email criticism late at night ❌ Instant replies often escalate. ✅ Sleep on it - reply with calm logic in the morning. 8. Microaggressions or subtle digs ❌ Snapping back gives power to the other person. ✅ Respond with calm clarity: “Let’s keep this professional.” 9. Team mistakes under your watch ❌ Outbursts erode motivation. ✅ Focus on solutions first, feedback later. 10. Unexpected rejection (role, idea, proposal) ❌ Taking it personally shows lack of resilience. ✅ Ask, “What would strengthen this for next time?” Your reputation doesn’t collapse from one bad decision. It collapses from one bad reaction. Which of these 10 do you catch yourself in most often? - - - 🔔 Join 9,670 leaders getting my 21-page Executive Presence Workbook: - 10 levers including confidence, communication, strategic thinking - Practical exercises to build credibility, influence, and presence - The same system that helped my clients land Director+ roles 👉 Link below to join.

Rick Rubin went on stage in Helsinki the day after my talk. Someone asked how he resolves creative differences with artists. His answer was simple: change the conversation from "I disagree" to "let's build it." Then he shared a story: An artist played him a song. The transition didn't work. Rubin told him so. The artist said, "We'll just cut that part in half." Rubin thought to himself: What a dumb idea. But he didn't say that. He said, "Let's try it." The artist played it. It worked. Rubin is a legend. He's produced everyone from Johnny Cash to Jay-Z. Instead, he bit his tongue and let the artist prove him wrong. The principle: when you make an idea tangible, it stops being the person's idea. It becomes something you can both look at objectively and improve together. Once you build it, the truth is obvious. Here's what this looks like in practice: Your designer wants to change the entire homepage layout. You think it's too risky. Instead of three meetings debating it, you say: "Let's build a prototype and test it with 50 users this week." Your sales team wants to restructure the pricing page. Instead of blocking it because you're worried about conversions, you say: "Let's run it as an A/B test on 20% of traffic for two weeks." Your engineer wants to rebuild a core feature from scratch. You think it's overengineered. But instead of killing it in the planning phase, you say: "Spike it out in three days and show me if the performance gain is real." You're not saying yes to everything. You're saying, "Let's find out." Rubin also said something that stuck with me: "If there's disagreement, I always side with the artist's vision. Because to them, it's their career. To me, it's just one piece of my portfolio." Most leaders think backing down makes them look weak. Rubin knows that siding with the person who has the most at stake makes better work happen. Your job isn't to be right. It's to create the conditions where the best idea wins. Stop debating. Start building. P.S. This insight is from this week's newsletter where I break down why Yamaha dominates while Steinway got sold to private equity: https://lnkd.in/efSqP_9K P.P.S. Access additional research links, the podcast, and the full archive in the first comment 👇 Thank you to Nordic Business Forum!

Stuck in an endless loop of client changes? Lost track of what revision this constitutes? Yeah. Been there. Done that. The secret? It's not about saying no. It's about saying yes to the right things upfront. Every project that goes sideways starts the same way: Vague agreements. Fuzzy boundaries. Good intentions. Six weeks later you're bleeding money and everyone's frustrated. Here's my framework after 30 years of running two 8-figure businesses: The SOW is your salvation. Not some boilerplate template. A real document that covers: • Exact deliverables (not "design work" but "3 homepage concepts, 2 rounds of revisions") • Hours of operation ("We respond M-F, 9-5 PST. Weekend requests get Monday responses") • Revision rounds spelled out ("Round 1 includes up to 5 changes. Round 2 includes 3.") • Feedback cycles defined ("48-hour turnaround for client feedback or the project may be delayed or additional fees may be incurred") But here's what most people miss— Don't work on client notes immediately. Client sends 37 pieces of feedback at 11pm Friday? Producer sends conflicting notes from the CEO? Marketing wants one thing, sales wants another? Stop. Collect everything first. Resolve the conflicts. Get on the phone and discuss it with your client to get alignment. Separate the "have to haves" from the "nice to haves". Then present unified changes. "Based on all feedback received, here are the 8 changes we'll implement. This constitutes revision round 2 of 3." Watch how fast the random requests stop. No extra work that goes unappreciated. No more feelings of being taken advantage of. Communicate before the crisis, prevents the crisis from happening. "Just so you know, we're entering round 2. You have one more included. After that, it's $X per additional round." No surprises. No awkward money conversations. No resentment. Scope creep isn't a them problem. It's a you problem. And that's good news, because that means you are in control. They're not trying to take advantage. They just don't know where the boundaries are because you never drew them. Draw the lines early. Communicate them clearly. Everyone wins. What's your most painful scope creep story? What boundary would've prevented it? Small Business Builders #projectmanagement #clientmanagement #businessgrowth

Amit dedicated 7 years to his company. He started at ₹12 LPA and, after years of hard work, reached ₹20 LPA. One day, he casually asked a new hire about their salary—₹30 LPA. Shock. Betrayal. He had trained others, handled crises, and never dropped the ball. Yet, a newcomer with less experience made ₹10 lakh more. His manager’s response? "We value you, but external hires are paid market rates." Reality check: New hires get market pay. Loyal employees get small increments. Appreciation ≠ Compensation. Amit tested the market and got a 40% hike in 90 days. Suddenly, his company wanted to match it—but he had already moved on. Lesson? Loyalty should be a two-way street. Know your worth. Keep an eye on market trends. Negotiate what you deserve. Because staying too long without evaluating your worth is the costliest mistake.

Why your best employees want to leave the company (and how to get them to stay) ❌ Lack of Career Growth   ↳ They feel stuck and see no upward movement.   ↳ They aren’t being challenged or learning new things. ✅ How to get them to stay   ↳ Implement a personalized development plan for each employee that includes skills they want to acquire, milestones, and clear timelines.   ↳ Meet quarterly to reassess their goals and provide opportunities like stretch assignments or lateral moves to expand their experience. ❌ Poor Leadership   ↳ Their boss micromanages and doesn’t trust them.   ↳ They don’t feel supported or valued by leadership. ✅ How to get them to stay   ↳ Train leaders to give ownership and autonomy in projects.   ↳ Create a culture of trust by offering regular 360-degree feedback, where leaders and employees can exchange constructive criticism and praise. ❌ Burnout   ↳ They’re overworked and never have time to recharge.   ↳ There’s no balance between their work and personal life. ✅ How to get them to stay   ↳ Introduce regular check-ins on workload and mental health.   ↳ Offer flexible schedules, remote work options, and dedicated recharge days—paid time off specifically for mental wellness. ❌ Toxic Work Environment   ↳ Negativity and office politics create constant stress.   ↳ They don’t feel like they can be themselves at work. ✅ How to get them to stay   ↳ Conduct anonymous culture surveys to identify toxicity hot spots.   ↳ Act swiftly on the findings with team-building workshops and clear policies that discourage negative behavior. ❌ Lack of Recognition   ↳ Their hard work goes unnoticed or unappreciated.   ↳ They don’t feel valued for their contributions. ✅ How to get them to stay   ↳ Create a peer recognition program that allows employees to celebrate each other’s contributions regularly.   ↳ Leaders should publicly acknowledge achievements in team meetings and offer meaningful praise that connects their work to the company’s mission. ❌ Uncompetitive Pay   ↳ They know they could make more elsewhere.   ↳ Their salary doesn’t reflect their skills and contributions. ✅ How to get them to stay   ↳ Perform bi-annual market compensation reviews and communicate the findings transparently with employees.   ↳ Offer value-driven benefits like profit sharing, stock options, or performance-based bonuses, which allow employees to feel like stakeholders in the company’s success. ❌ Misaligned Values   ↳ The company’s mission doesn’t inspire them.   ↳ They don’t believe in the company’s direction or ethics. ✅ How to get them to stay   ↳ Actively involve employees in shaping the company’s mission and values through workshops or town hall meetings.   ↳ Offer opportunities for employees to engage in corporate social responsibility initiatives that matter to them. It always costs more to replace a great employee than it does to keep them. Repost this to help your network. Follow Tobi Oluwole for more

Last week, an employee came to me after reporting her manager for harassment - trusting HR to keep it confidential. Instead, HR passed the complaint to the manager's boss, who told the manager everything. By week's end, her manager had turned her words into a threat - and her job into a target. Here's what being a former corporate counsel taught me about HR's quietest, biggest lie: When HR says "This conversation is confidential," they mean: "Everything you say will be documented, distributed, and potentially used against you.” I've sat in those meetings. I've seen the reports. I've watched the aftermath. The truth? Your "confidential" conversation gets shared with: 1. Your direct manager 2. Their manager 3. Legal department 4. Executive team 5. Anyone deemed "relevant" to the investigation But it gets worse. Remember those "performance issues" that suddenly appeared after your complaint? That's because HR took your vulnerable moments and reframed them as evidence: "She admitted feeling anxious" becomes "Unable to handle workplace pressure" "He mentioned being distracted" turns into "Lack of focus and productivity" "They expressed concerns about the team" transforms to "Not a cultural fit" I've watched this playbook destroy careers for years. Now I'm helping employees protect themselves. Three rules I want you to remember: 1. Document everything BEFORE going to HR 2. Assume every word will be shared 3. Get things in writing - after any verbal conversation, send a follow-up: "As discussed today…" Protect yourself first. The company already has an entire department doing the same. Follow for more insider insights on protecting your workplace rights. #EmploymentAttorney  #CaliforniaEmploymentLaw  #EmployeeRights

🧠 We’ve all been mansplained (unsolicited explanations of things we already know) and he-peated (our idea ignored until a man says it). This happens to interns and SVPs, in finance and philanthropy, in boardrooms and basements. Bias is real. And women help it along. Years of social conditioning taught us to bubble-wrap our point in apologies: "I just want to say... " "Sorry I mean...." "I am not sure, but I think..." "Does that make sense? No one is forcing those words into our mouths anymore. We put them there. If I’m the one pressing my own mute button, I’m also the one who can take my finger off it. Uma and I are often on coaching calls, listening to brilliant women explain a challenge in six scenic paragraphs while we bite our lips thinking, 😅 “How do we say: come to the fucking point.... kindly?” 🪞 I’m not saying “talk like a man.” I’m saying talk like a decision-maker. In the workplace, time is money, perception is reality, and clarity is kindness. You can be warm and still be sharp. You can be collaborative without narrating your inner monologue. Here are 4 verbal moves: ❌ Don’t: “ So quick background… long story short… the market, the vendor, last quarter…” ✅ Do: “Decision: approve X by Friday to hit launch. Two reasons: 1) … 2) …” 👉 Write your headline using Verb + Decision + Deadline (“Approve X by Friday”). Then give two bullets max: “Because 1)… 2)…”. Practice with a 6-second voice note; if you spill over, your headline isn’t a headline. ❌ Don’t: “I’m worried we might be a bit behind and it could become an issue.” ✅ Do: “We’re 3 weeks behind; risk €120k. Option A recovers 2 weeks; Option B recovers 3 with a 10% scope cut.” 👉 Translate feelings to facts with this template: “Status: X; Risk: Y; Options: A/B with trade-offs; My recommendation: R.” Ask “What number proves this?” until you have one. ❌ Don’t: “Sorry, can I just add, (gets interrupted)… yeah, no worries.” ✅ Do: “I’ll finish, then happy to take questions. Building on what I proposed earlier, next step is…” 👉 Memorize one boundary line and say it verbatim. Sit slightly forward, palm down, finish your sentence. If credit drifts, tag it back: “As outlined earlier, I’ll proceed with…” Then move to action. ❌ Don’t: “Maybe someone could own this? Otherwise I’m happy to help if needed.” ✅ Do: “I own A. Priya owns B. We need your yes/no today. If yes, I’ll send the plan by 17:00.” 👉 How to: End every contribution with Who/What/When. Ask for a binary (“yes/no”) to force a decision. Follow up in writing within an hour: subject “Decision + Owners + Deadline,” one paragraph, three bullets. 🧩 Different styles can all be powerful; None of them requires apologizing for existing. You’re not too much. You’ve been practicing small. If you want the reps, grab the replay of our 90-min webinar “Confident Communication.”, 👉 https://lnkd.in/ginRMa4q Because the shortest true sentence wins...

This is what I call a letter of complaint. A legendary Hollywood director making his point very clear. Personally, I find it best not to bring the threat of physical violence into professional disputes. Here’s the approach I use whenever I need to put dissatisfaction on paper, and why it works: 1. Keep your emotions in check Angry letters trigger defensiveness and stall progress. Calm, factual notes make it easier for the recipient to say yes because they can share your message internally without embarrassment. Polite gets prioritised. 2. Summarise the essence of the complaint in the first two sentences Customer-care teams triage fast. If they can’t see the problem and its impact immediately, your message gets parked. Leading with the essentials shortens the chain of approvals. 3. Never make an idle threat Threats aren’t necessary when you’ve got right on your side. Saying “I’ll see you in court” when you won’t only kills your credibility. State only the next steps you’ll definitely take, and when, such as escalate to a regulator. 4. Demand a conversation Emails can be ignored. Calls are harder to duck. A ten-minute chat humanises you, clears up misunderstandings, and often unlocks goodwill gestures that would never make it into a formal letter. 5. Say exactly what you want by way of recompense Vague disappointment yields vague apologies. A precise, reasonable ask with a clear deadline for resolution gives the handler something concrete to approve. Threats might make good cinema, but always clarity makes for better outcomes.